My girlfried went abroad for 2 weeks on a university trip, were she met this guy from that country. When she came back she told me that this guy had spent a week flirting with her, while knowing she was in a relationship with me.
They spent all the week together and at the end of it, he showed her an erotic poem titled with my girlfriend's name.
She told me nothing happenned, and I trust her 100% that she never had any interest in him. After he made clear with this poem that he wanted to have an affair with her, she told him to stop, and that it wasn't respectfull.
The thing is they have continued to talk ever since. She says he is a good guy, very interesting and sensible, and that she enjoys talking to him and sees him as a good friend. She has made her mind on this and says she will not stop talking to him whatever I feel about it.
I've tried my best to understand her perspective, and to be cool with the idea of her talking to him. But I really can't see the guy's behaviour as something normal or acceptable. I've felt pretty bad for the last 3 months since this happened, and it has had a very negative impact on our relationship.
I feel deeply disgusted by that guy, and I hate that my girlfriend considers him a good person and a friend. I think he's shown he is a narcissistic prick who presents himself as a sensible and interesting person, but he lacks any empathy and respect for others. I can't stand that the feedback he gets from behaving like this is gaining my girlfriend's sympathy.
My gf has recently talked to him about the problem he has created betwen us, and his response has been of surprise, sayint he doesn't understand why I have a problem with him. To me this shows he doesn't remorse a bit about his attitude, that he learnt nothing.
I've told my gf that I cannot buy into her perspective that everything is fine and normal between them. I've asked her to not hear anything about him, nor see her talking to him. And I've said I will not see him as a normal, respectful friend, however nicely he might continue to behave from now on.
I'm going to start a therapy to try to understand if I have a deeper problem with jealousy and insecurities that might cause me to react too strongly to this kind of situations, and I hope it will get better.
But I don't know if I will get to a point in which knowing this disgraceful person is still talking to my girlfriend will not affect me.
I've talked to a few friends about this, and they share my dispise for the guy. But I'd really love to know how someone not related to any of us sees the situation. How would you react to this situation? What would you do to solve this problem?
Thanks :)