I have learned over the course of the past 4 months as I travel around the country, that I am a very anxious person. it’s never really come up before, but the stress of moving has made me into a much more stressed and anxious person.
i am in a fortunate position in that I am remote. Im from a small town and I really just want to make more friends and be able to do more fun things. I’ve made 3 day trips to a couple of places I was interested in: Chicago, Austin, and Denver; I ended up hating them all within the first few hours, and booking flights back the next day, wasting a ton of money in the process.
I just don’t know if I’m even justified in “hating“ these places though. I can’t tell if I just don’t like change and my brain is just trying to come with reasons why I don’t like that place, or if I actually don’t like them, because I feel so much better when I’m back home. Austin was too hot, Chicago was too grimey, chicago landscape was too bland, etc. but how do I even tell if I truly will like a place by only visiting it for 3 days? I’ve never been this judgey or picky before, I’ve even studied abroad in the past and it was no big deal.
things have just changed when I got 2 cats, and now I either have some sort of separation anxiety, or maybe it’s something else entirely - but I think they play a factor. I’m always worried about them when I’m gone. I live with a roommate but they haven’t taken care of them in the past when I have paid them to, and they also learned they are allergic. we’ve also gotten a pet sitter before but the cats run and hide and won’t come out while they are around.
im just tired of spending money and traveling, it’s a lot of work. I don’t have much time left and I’ve got my lease running up in a month. I feel like the best bet is just to move somewhere and risk it, but that is really scary, I hate to waste money on nothing.
I think some of my fears could be alleviated if I had my own place and could spruce up more places then just my bedroom so that the cats were more entertained while I was gone, and also be able to get them accustomed to some pet sitter.
huge ramble that has a simple answer of “stop worrying so much” but I just can’t no matter how much I try, every visit to somewhere is a drag and I don’t like it. i doubt anyone has this exact issue, but how would you deal with it?