How do I address my parents’ disapproval of my boyfriend without blowing everything up?
Hi everyone, I’m looking for advice on how to handle my parents’ clear disapproval of my boyfriend, especially when they won’t openly admit it.
Some context:
I’m(21F) a soon-to-be nurse and just finished my preceptorship. During that time, I wasn’t living with my parents because I was busy with hospital placement and classes. My family has a Europe trip planned in a few days. During the planning, my younger brother(19M) said he wouldn’t go unless his girlfriend was included. My parents agreed and booked her onto the trip (I believe she’s paying for her flight). I wasn’t aware this was happening until after everything was already planned and booked.
What’s bothering me is that my boyfriend—who I fully intend to marry—was never even considered or invited. My parents claim they “like” him, but based on comments they’ve made (mostly about his income/career in agriculture), and actions like this, it feels very clear that they don’t actually want him in the family.
I’m struggling with how to address this. I feel like their behavior has seriously damaged any relationship they could have had with both me and my boyfriend.
At the same time, I’m not in a position to fully cut them off. I haven’t written my licensing exam yet and am still somewhat dependent on them financially, so I need to be careful.
I also don’t want to bring this up in a way that ruins our upcoming trip—but I do want them to understand how hurtful their actions have been and what this could mean long-term.
How would you approach this conversation in a calm but firm way? Has anyone dealt with something similar?