I ended a relationship I truly wanted because I couldn't get past her past did I do the right thing? Now I'm just worried about her.
I came to Bangalore 3 years ago as a fresher. Since a lot of us joined together, we naturally formed a friend group and spent most of our time with office mates. I had a crush on one girl in our gang, but I held back because I could sense she had feelings for my roommate. When I asked him about it, he always brushed it off "we're just friends." Meanwhile, I'd quietly look for any five minutes I could spend with her. In early 2025, things got ugly. My roommate and her had a big fight and it turned physical he started hitting her. I stepped in and stopped it. That's when she finally told me they had been in a relationship the whole time. She was shocked to learn he had kept her a secret from even me, his own roommate. After that, most of us switched companies. She stayed stuck at the old one and honestly, still stuck on him. I started spending more time with her, just listening, letting her express everything she had been holding in. Over the next six months, I watched her slowly come back to life. Then somewhere along the way, we both caught feelings. We expressed them, started planning a future together, even talked about marriage. But things shifted. With the long distance, I constantly felt like a second option. The warmth she had shown early on faded. She became distant, guarded, and set strict boundaries which I understood, given what she had been through. I never pushed too hard. But one time, under some pressure, the truth came out she and my roommate had been physical. I can't fully explain what that did to me. I tried to accept it. I genuinely did. But I know my own mindset, and I was honest with myself: this would become a problem for me in the long run and that wouldn't be fair to her. So I ended it. I didn't give her the real reason. I just let it end. She's been through enough because of him. I refused to be another person who hurts her even if the way I hurt her looks different. I thought the kindest thing was to let her find someone who could love her without carrying this weight. But here's what's eating me now. She had already lost trust in men after everything my roommate put her through. She was completely closed off not entertaining any arranged marriage proposals, not letting anyone in. Out of everyone, she chose to trust me. I was the one she opened up to. And now I'm the one who walked away without even giving her a real reason. I keep asking myself did I do the right thing? Or did I just become another man who let her down? I'm not missing the relationship as much as I'm genuinely worried about her. What happens to someone who finally trusted again and then got left again? She already had no confidence in men before this. I'm scared of what this does to her. I know I can't carry this forever. But I can't stop thinking about it either. Has anyone been in this situation either side of it? Did I handle this wrong? And how do you make peace with a decision when you're not even sure it was right?