u/Existing-One-7662

I've posted here before about a relationship I had with a former addict who relapsed during our time together. He was using drugs, selling drugs, drinking to the point of pancreatitis, multiple hospitalizations, paying for sex, evictions, etc.

At his worst, even after the relationship ended, I still found him a place to stay, sent groceries, made sure he was clothed, etc. Even helped with his resume when he was back on his feet and looking for work. I somehow managed to find forgiveness and maintain a friendship.

He tells me now that he's sober (3 weeks without alcohol so very early), and he was baptized back in November and says he's maintaining his sobriety through faith. While I don't necessarily agree, his church has advised him that addiction is a sin nature problem, and that every relapse is Satan tempting him, so he refuses to go to any sort of rehab or counseling or support group.

That aside, I'm now struggling immensely with a parent suffering from dementia and he recently told me we can't be friends because maintaining a friendship with a non-believer will lead him into sin. I am extremely hurt by this. I believe in God but I'm not familiar with the gospel.

He says he cannot make amends because the only way to make amends would be to repair the relationship but since he cannot have a relationship with a non-believer, he will not be making amends.

But what I'm really struggling with is his total lack of kindness or consideration for what I'm going through with my parent.

I was speaking to him about it a couple weeks ago and he just said "no offense, but what's happening with your family really doesn't matter because you're not right with Jesus".

On another occasion I was looking for health aides to hire for in home care and had asked his opinion and was met with "that's a nice gesture but nothing kind that you do really matters because you're not doing it to glorify God".

Is this biblical? Are you only supposed to offer friendship and kindness to other believers? I can't wrap my head around the fact that he believes kindness is meaningless unless you're Christian. And the worst part - I've been going to church to help me deal with this difficult time - and his behavior and words are making me question everything.

I've had spider veins since puberty. I've now been hiding my legs for over two decades and I'm so tired of being hot in the summer, declining beach trips - and yes even putting off swimming lessons because I'm so embarrassed. I saw a vein specialist a month ago and she will not treat me until the winter. She said the procedure is going to be essentially:

40-50 injections in the initial visit (including reticular veins)

48 hours of compression socks

Come back in ten days for another treatment

And then another 48 hours, and one more treatment

She said it's extensive, I'll be bruised for a couple months.

I went to my dermatologist today for a second opinion and he said he doesn't think my veins are bad enough to warrant that extensive treatment and he warned there could be risks of ulcerations. He said he would be willing to reluctantly treat one cluster behind my knee but he doesn't recommend treatment at all.

I'm feeling stuck. I think the first doctor's treatment plan sounds really scary, but I know I don't have the confidence to leave them untreated.

Has anyone had their veins successfully treated? What type of doctor/procedure was done? I want them treated but I want a conservative approach. Thanks in advance!

I was previously in a relationship with a man who struggled with addiction. During our time together he relapsed, and he really hurt me at the height of his addiction.

I found out he was cheating, paying for escorts, lying to me, putting my health at risk, stealing from me, and I later found out he was selling drugs and put my entire life at risk. I thank God I got out when I did.

From the day I met him he told me he was Christian. I wanted to learn more as I wasn't raised religiously so I started reading the Bible and studying on my own. Looking back, I don't think his actions ever aligned with his faith. Even now I can't understand how a godly man could be capable of things he did. The level of deceit and betrayal still haunts me. Yes we're all sinners, but is that license to just sin with wild abandon?

He got in touch late last year saying he was sober and wanted to make amends, and he invited me to his baptism. I went but soon realized he was still drinking heavily and no amends ever came. I'm really hurt because instead of ever making amends he basically said that now that he is baptized he is a new creation, he has his salvation, and he does not need to make amends with me because I'm not Christian.

I feel ....so confused. Is belief in your salvation a reason to treat others poorly? Shouldn't you care for others? It just seems very selfish that the sole focus of a godly life is your own salvation and you don't need to care about the hurt you cause to others. I realize he's an addict so I should be cautious but it's making me lose interest in the faith.

How do amends fit into true repentance?