I’m falling deeper and deeper, there’s no bottom,
At the same time feeling I’m torn apart into pieces,
As the maggots are eating me up from inside,
Fiesting until they’ve reached into my helpless soul,
Inconsolable but constantly aching for comfort,
A warm embrace to finally feel safe in,
But there’s only stone cold darkness,
Forever trapped in the unconsumible darkness,
Abandoned, alone and unloved
Melanie
I got all of the hatred but you got the toxic warmth,
I’m just broken but you’re totally in half,
I’m finally free but you remain still trapped..
Unaware of your jailer,
You got the love that I never did,
But I got a since of identity..
And some choise over my own life..
wich you never got,
We are so different now..
but in the pain we shall find each other again,
I wait for you to come back to me,
It’s all I can do for now, just hope you know..
I will always be here for you,
And I will always love you my dear sweet little sister ❤️
Jonathan
All of my life a constant struggle,
why cant you see me?
I’m not as bad as you think of me,
Please mum why cant you just see me?
Lost covered by darkness until I met you,
You where the one that truly saw me for who I am,
You liked what you saw, the self-hatred eased,
It no longer mattered what everyone else thought,
Trough your eyes I finally liked what I saw,
You where warmth, safety and happines,
Your dear, beutiful and beloved soul,
We sat in the same boat, felt the same grief,
To shear that grief with you,
To not feel so alone and abandoned anymore,
You defended me against the evil one,
Never before had anyone cared like you did,
Never have I had anyone on my side,
Always been alone against the unfairness,
You treated me with so much care,
Never before had I felt so much worth,
Almost for a sekond you made me feel whole for the first time ever in my entire life..
Until the stone cold reality that is my life,
I was in denial because it was to hard to fandom,
Fighting it, pushing your chest so hard up and down,
My hope never weavered, you’re still alive
You’re lying on the floor covered up by blanket,
No longer alive,
NO No no no
Where did the denial go? I beg you.. come back
I was left with a reality to cruel to handle,
”You are my best friend, promise me that you’ll always be a part my life”
Ofcourse I will I answered without any hesitation, without any thought
The answer was to obvious to even think about it for a second before saying it outloud
So then WHY?? Why did you choose to leave me?
Every day we fight, the silent war within us
Like warriors in our own shells,
Searching for a light, it’s never here with us
The rotten truth it really smells,
Feasting on each other, but the pain wont go away
Never let them reach you
Now feel the strenght because I’m here to stay
Be hopeful, be brave you
It’s the only way you’ll win