u/ExcruciorCadaveris

You don't know anything about veganism; I do. You see, veganism has absolutely nothing to do with moral community, bodily autonomy, respect for the dead or any other religious crap like that. No, veganism is about finding the right opportunities to pretend to have a good excuse to eat animals and then complaining when people see you as a bloodthirsty monster. That's right, you heard me.

If you go around telling people "Please, don't eat animals", you're no different from a priest saying "Love thy neighbor", because that's just dogma. You should not make up rules like that. There are situations in which it's not only justified to eat animals, but it's the most ethical option because of health or the environment.

So just stop acting shocked when I go into car crashes and take some of the body parts back to my car, you know? Shut the fuck up when I'm ambulance-chasing after people who have just literally become vegetables so I can have dinner. Close your mouth when I'm breaking into ICUs and gently dismembering comma patients for my Sunday lunch. When I'm chloroforming and injecting drugs and painkillers into strangers in some back alley you have no business being in, just look the other way.

Grave-robbing doesn't hurt anyone. They're not feeling anything. There's absolutely no suffering whatsoever here. So just fucking move on, for fuck's sake. Seriously, I'm so sick of you purists saying I'm not vegan. Not only am I 100% genuine vegan, but I'm actually more vegan than you. Because you don't question everything, I do.