I still feel conflicted about my ex (advice, thoughts, insight, relatable experiences, anything!!)
I broke up with her two months ago. It was kind of my fault. She was a bit of a sensitive and emotional person and whenever she was feeling insecure or down, I didn't really know how to comfort her. I miss what I had with her because it was so sweet and innocent and she seemed like such a beautiful person.
I know she was really sad when we broke up, as I've heard from several accounts about her crying over me. She texted me once a little message about wishing me well and I could see she was still sad about it. Recently, I reached out to her and she said that she was "glad we hadn't stayed friends because it would've made her more sad". I feel really guilty because she was a pretty good girlfriend and I feel like I've caused her so much pain already because I didn't know how to deal with a real relationship (this was my first girlfriend).
The thing is, after we broke up, our mutual friend started hating me and a lot of other girls she was friends with hated me as well. I kind of figured she hated me too, as apparently she speaks of me with a lot of disdain and spite. This has kind of changed the way I see her because I've never seen her have such a mean and hateful attitude towards me (she used to act really sweet). I don't really understand why she's like this, because when I reached out, she admitted that she still has feelings for me and she misses me and she would consider dating me again. Now I'm not sure what to think (does she want me or does she hate me?). I don't know what exactly she's said to other people about me or if it's actually that bad, but I had been under the impression that I never had a chance at a second shot.
I haven't reached out to her again (despite her trying to shoot her shot once) because I'm really scared I'll hurt her again.
What should I do?