u/Exciting_Drink_9103

I found through the app store that my husband had previously downloaded grindr. When I asked about this he denied it and said he never had it. The next day he came to me and said 15 years ago he was raped but wasn't attracted to men, he watched gay porn after but was never aroused by it. He never interacted with anyone on the app, he just scrolled on it when extremely drunk. A few days later I checked his app and everything was blank , no photos, no messages. I asked if he had deleted messages, He said again that he never spoke to anyone on it. I asked when he last used the app, he said 1 year ago, he would go on it when drunk and feel disgusted with him self the next day and delete the app. The thing is, I made up a profile so I could see what the app was all about, no photos on it but I still got messages from men (I never replied obviously). So im thinking he deleted all his messages and probably was talking to men on it. He 1st downloaded the app 8 years ago, we're together 8 years - married 3. My gut is telling me to run, somedays I really want to leave as I feel like he's lying to me but i also dont want to leave incase what he is telling me is true, he was raped and this is a trauma response. He is in therapy. Can anyone please give me advice. Thanks. We also have a baby together so its hard for me to just up and leave.