Hi! I was diagnosed at 4, on Ritilan until 12, Unmedicated until 36. Finally tried Adderall, night and day different in my life! I’m in college! I have a 3.84!!! I was a solid D student, dropped out of high school, all that shit.
So. Last year I started seeing a new psych. We started Adderall IR 15mg. I was having really bad evenings so we added 5mg noon booster. It’s been great for a year but I have a hard time remembering to take the booster, if I don’t realize I forgot it I have a shitty evening, if I do realize I forgot it and take it a little late I’m awake until 3am. So I finally decided to try XR. She gave me 3 XR 15mg to try, appt on the 4th day.
Now the XR is great. It’s more mellow, smooth, and sleep is a soft gentle water landing instead of putting the plane down in a corn field 😅 BUT I kinda feel slower like my thoughts are covered in molasses, I can form a plan or focus on a task, but the motivation to get UP and execute the plan is gone. I havnt sat on my couch in these long of stretches in a year! So I bring this up and suggest maybe I still need the 20mg I was on with IR…
Oh lord you’d have thought I’d asked for 800mg! She went off! “Oh no no no we are NOT raising your dose again. I won’t have you in here thinking oh if I want more miss (name) will just give it to me! I don’t want you addicted. We don’t need to raise and raise your dose.” *she looks at her computer screen here *You started at 5, then went to 10 the asked for 15 and now 20!!! No! We can add a non stimulant, you were on straterra before…” um no I’ve never been on straterra. I was on Celexa for anxiety but no, no straterra. She looked up at me here and went “oh yeah Celexa”
Well of course this triggered some rejection sensitivity and I’ve going thru something with my family I was already in a sad mood. So I was kinda crying a little. She goes “oh hunny! You’re DEPRESSED! Let’s try Wellbutrin!” No that gave me ideations as a teenager (and I’m pretty sure I noted that at intake last year???) I explained I have joy and contentedness with my kids hubby friends and hobbies. I’m just sad today.
She refilled the 15mg XR for a month, I have an appt second week of June. I looked up my CVS history to be sure I’m not crazy… Feb 2025 my first Adderall fill was 15mg. March 2025 15mg and 5mg. And it’s been the same since.
Now I’m scared to advocate for myself if this molasses feeling doesn’t wear off, I’m scared to trust her bc she tried to diagnose depression over one sad moment, she tried to prescribe something I’ve had bad reactions to, and it very much seems like she had the wrong persons chart open. But also I’m scared to switch drs bc if she put this drug seeker in my chart and I leave I may look like I’m doctor shopping. I’m getting my records from her office this week, I’m providing my cvs history print outs as proof I haven’t “up and up and upped” my dose. I’m tempted to ask to speak to a supervisor but idk if I even want that fight? (Dr vs labeled drug seeker?)
If you’ve read this far, thanks! Venting, processing, sharing experience, looking for any similar ones or advice from fellow patients or from the medical staff POV. 🥰