My Best Friend Turned Into A Mean Girl After Marriage… And I Don’t Recognize Her Anymore
I (36F) have been best friends with “Diana” (32F) since 2012. We were coworkers first, then became extremely close, weddings, milestones, everything together.
For context: she’s conventionally attractive/thin, I’m fat and average-looking. This never mattered because she used to be genuinely kind.
That changed after she started dating her now husband, who gives major “alpha male podcast” vibes. She constantly comments on how tiny she is, calls herself “fat” and ugly while sitting next to me, compares bodies, and has directly called me “big.”
She also makes passive-aggressive comments about my choices: keeping my surname after marriage, being childfree, etc. My husband and I consciously chose not to have kids due to my difficult family background, and she knows that.
The hypocrisy hurts too. When I dated terrible men in the past, she supported me. Now she laughs about me “choosing red flags.” Meanwhile, I’ve always supported her through issues with her problematic boyfriends and her now husband, who seems emotionally immature and misogynistic. He verbally abused her and her mother during a traumatic pregnancy loss, reposts misogynistic content online, and tells her to “adjust” with his awful mother.
Despite that, when I call put his behaviour, she defends him constantly.
During her pregnancy loss, I supported her however I could. But she started making comments like “people who don’t want kids could never understand this,” which hurt because I was trying my best to be there for her.
The final straw: after another miscarriage, she told coworkers I was “angry” she hadn’t informed me sooner and that she had to “pacify” me. Completely untrue. When confronted, she acted clueless.
Now every interaction leaves me drained, judged, or uncomfortable. I’ve been distancing myself, but she acts like everything is normal.
I’m grieving the person she used to be, but I honestly don’t know if this friendship is salvageable anymore.
Am I overthinking this? What would you do?
P.S: this behaviour started since 2024 once she started dating her husband.