My best friend (24) and I (23) have been friends since elementary school so we’ve known each other for almost 20 years now. It wasn’t until 2020 that I realized her family despite being non white-passing Hispanics are very conservative and openly racist. They’re very pro Trump, anti immigration and openly racist and bigoted because they think it’s funny. It’s like the 2016 shock value dark humor. My friend isn’t like that from what I can tell. She also doesn’t like them and complains about them constantly so I try not to blame her but it still rubs me the wrong way.
We’re going on a trip together in a few months and she said she wants me to meet her extended family. I told her NO because I already don’t like them due to their racist remarks and pro Trump behavior.
But she keeps pushing me to meet them and says that she’s gonna take me there anyway when I land in her state (I’m flying to her state and we’re driving to our vacation destination). I am black, my parents purposely gave me a very basic “white American name” that’s just spelled a little different but it’s not hard to pronounce. But she told me recently her uncle that she wants me to meet is constantly calling me “Kadisha” or “Shakeisha” or asking her if I like fried chicken etc. Not that there’s anything wrong with those names it’s just— not my name. I also find it pretty fucked up that he’s purposely messing up my name and I can already tell if she makes me meet them it will actually ruin my mood the whole trip.
I’m getting to the point where even after we purchased everything for the trip thats about a month away, I want to cancel it because going to their house is going to ruin my mood if they say some messed up bigoted stuff to my face. But I can’t tell if that’s me being overly sensitive or rude since her family was going to host dinner for us that night. She keeps insisting and saying that “you’re going to meet my fam” and thinks it’s funny when they purposely mess up my name or when I tell her no. When my family makes comments about her I always defend her but now I’m questioning if she does that for me? I’m really thinking about cancelling the whole thing but I don’t wanna be dramatic since we already bought everything. Some people tell me I’m justified others say don’t throw away a summer trip over ONE night of discomfort and stupid uncle jokes but I’m thinking if my best friend doesn’t even respect me maybe I should?