Every night before i fall asleep it's just " i hope i die " or " i hope i don't wake up tomorrow "
I'm scared and i dont know what to do with myself.
I feel like a terrible partner to my boyfriend. I want to be better for him because he deserves better but it feels like i just keep fucking up.
Every feeling and every thought i get feels like how i truly feel about him and that scares me because he's so great and i'm just some dude with rocd who can't do anything. I wwant to love him and i want to be his husband but i feel so pathetic and i feel so dirty and i feel so wrong and i feel like he doesn't deserve someone with thoughts so bad and feelings that feel real and i dont even know if they are real but they feel like it and I dontknow what to do. I dont know how to stop feeling like a terrible person.
I'm so close to giving up