I have had enough
I started smoking 10 years ago , prior to starting I thought it was disgusting . To the point that I even broke up with my long term partner at the time when I found out he was a smoker . How it started : I would go out with friends and they would always smoke , when they offered it to me i would always decline . One day i did not decline and I accepted but it took about 3 years for me to become a daily smoker . The road was insidious, I would go months without a cigarette and just have one here and there. I was then smoking for a few years and read Allan carrs book, and it was magic I stopped after reading the book and it was ridiculously easy . In fact it was so easy after a few months I asked my friend for one outside the cinema , I thought if its so easy to stop one cant hurt I will stop again. Noway ! I was back at it in no time. It has been a few years since I attempted to stop again . This year I have read Allen carrs book 7 times , it didn't work. I brought Allen carrs permanent way to stop smoking, it didn't work, I brought nictione addiction off amazon due to a recommendation on here and although it was helpful it didn't work. These past few months I have stopped for 7 days then at work asked a colleague if I could hit her vape , then stopped again for 3 days , the same thing happened at work , then stopped for 7 days and the same thing happened at work . What's wrong with me ? I feel like i have a demon in my make up . I stopped smoking weed last year and it was ridiculously easy and I have no cravings . I never crave alcohol because I dont drink and everytime I stop I say to myself "do you want to drink alcohol because you dont but you do want nictione because you are a drug addict". What is wrong with me ? Someone, anyone, everyone , please provide me some perspective. I cant do this anymore, im going to be 37 this year and I cant carry this on anymore. Nictione is different to weed , it doesn't get you high , its different to alcohol it doesn't get you drunk or tipsy . It does nothing for me so why do I keep going back . My advice to anyone who reads the Allen carr book if it was like magic stopping , please never have another dose of nictione because the book just doesn't seem to work the second or third time you read it, which is tragic. I should have heeded Allen carrs warning which was if its ridiculously easy to stop it will be ridiculously easy to start. My reasons for stopping are health , vanity , my throat constantly hurts . Also I stopped cigarettes a few months ago and started vaping and let me tell you , vaping is equally as bad for you as cigarettes because you vape everywhere .
Anyways tomorrow i will stop again and i hope desperately this time I can get rid of this evil demon .
Also I don't want to use nictione replacement therapy and dont want to take medication for it, based on Allen carrs logic which I firmly believe in