u/Excellent_Knight

Hey you.

Yes, you, scrolling and wondering if this is finally the post that’ll change your life.

It is. Congratulations. We’re getting married. 🎉

Or becoming platonic soulmates who share memes at 2am and rank cereal mascots by fighting ability. I’m flexible.

About me:

27M, human (mostly), located somewhere in the world

Fully house-trained and up to date on vaccinations

Once cried during a cooking show but played it off as allergies

Thinks raccoons would make excellent life coaches

Looking for:

Someone who will dramatically say “you’re being so brave” when I parallel park

Ideally owns a blanket that's way too big for any reasonable purpose

Likes chaotic conversations that spiral from "how was your day" to "do you think pigeons have regional accents?"

Let’s chat. Let’s vibe. Let’s become best friends and confuse everyone with how quickly we bonded. Or, y’know, get married for the tax benefits. I’ll bring snacks.

Send me your weirdest thought of the day as an opener. Or your pet’s name. Or your favorite kind of cheese. I accept all forms of communication.

Hey you.

Yes, you, scrolling and wondering if this is finally the post that’ll change your life.

It is. Congratulations. We’re getting married. 🎉

Or becoming platonic soulmates who share memes at 2am and rank cereal mascots by fighting ability. I’m flexible.

About me:

27M, human (mostly), located somewhere in the world

Fully house-trained and up to date on vaccinations

Once cried during a cooking show but played it off as allergies

Thinks raccoons would make excellent life coaches

Looking for:

Someone who will dramatically say “you’re being so brave” when I parallel park

Ideally owns a blanket that's way too big for any reasonable purpose

Likes chaotic conversations that spiral from "how was your day" to "do you think pigeons have regional accents?"

Let’s chat. Let’s vibe. Let’s become best friends and confuse everyone with how quickly we bonded. Or, y’know, get married for the tax benefits. I’ll bring snacks.

Send me your weirdest thought of the day as an opener. Or your pet’s name. Or your favorite kind of cheese. I accept all forms of communication.

Hey you.

Yes, you, scrolling and wondering if this is finally the post that’ll change your life.

It is. Congratulations. We’re getting married. 🎉

Or becoming platonic soulmates who share memes at 2am and rank cereal mascots by fighting ability. I’m flexible.

About me:

27M, human (mostly), located somewhere in the world

Fully house-trained and up to date on vaccinations

Once cried during a cooking show but played it off as allergies

Thinks raccoons would make excellent life coaches

Talkative with the right person

Looking for:

Someone who will dramatically say “you’re being so brave” when I parallel park

A good listener

Someone who needs a person in their life to be there for them

Likes chaotic conversations that spiral from "how was your day" to "do you think pigeons have regional accents?"

Let’s chat. Let’s vibe. Let’s become best friends and confuse everyone with how quickly we bonded. Or, y’know, get married for the tax benefits. I’ll bring snacks.

Send me your weirdest thought of the day as an opener. Or your pet’s name. Or your favorite kind of cheese. I accept all forms of communication.

Yaarukum awards kedaicha santhosam naa kudukuren, comment thatti vidunga

Hey you.

Yes, you, scrolling and wondering if this is finally the post that’ll change your life.

It is. Congratulations. We’re getting married. 🎉

Or becoming platonic soulmates who share memes at 2am and rank cereal mascots by fighting ability. I’m flexible.

About me:

27M, human (mostly), located somewhere in the world

Fully house-trained and up to date on vaccinations

Once cried during a cooking show but played it off as allergies

Thinks raccoons would make excellent life coaches

Looking for:

Someone who will dramatically say “you’re being so brave” when I parallel park

Ideally owns a blanket that's way too big for any reasonable purpose

Likes chaotic conversations that spiral from "how was your day" to "do you think pigeons have regional accents?"

Let’s chat. Let’s vibe. Let’s become best friends and confuse everyone with how quickly we bonded. Or, y’know, get married for the tax benefits. I’ll bring snacks.

Send me your weirdest thought of the day as an opener. Or your pet’s name. Or your favorite kind of cheese. I accept all forms of communication.

Hey.

Yeah, you. The one procrastinating sleep again and convincing yourself this is “just five more minutes” online.

I’m your new favorite internet human. Or possibly your next mild regret.

Let’s find out.About me:

27M, sentient carbon-based mess. Currently located somewhere between “probably fine” and “doing my best.”

Can cook exactly three recipes, all involving cheese.

Once got emotionally attached to a broken vending machine. Still miss it sometimes.Type of person who claps when the plane lands unironically.

6'2" in height, 5'4" in spirit.

Looking for:

Someone who also overthinks text messages but then sends memes to cope.

A partner-in-chaos willing to debate big questions, like “Is cereal actually soup?”

Appreciates comfort shows, oversized hoodies, and the emotional rollercoaster of friendship.

Bonus points if your pet has a cooler name than you do.

Let’s make friends, start a cult of inside jokes, and confuse algorithms everywhere.

Open with your most cursed shower thought, your latest hyper-specific opinion, or just a “hi” if you’re feeling mysterious.

Your move, internet stranger

Hey you.

Yes, you, scrolling and wondering if this is finally the post that’ll change your life.

It is. Congratulations. We’re getting married. 🎉 Or becoming platonic soulmates who share memes at 2am and rank cereal mascots by fighting ability. I’m flexible.

About me:

27M, human (mostly), located somewhere in the world

Fully house-trained and up to date on vaccinations

Once cried during a cooking show but played it off as allergies

Thinks raccoons would make excellent life coaches

6'2" but emotionally 5'10" on good days

Looking for:

Someone who will dramatically say “you’re being so brave” when I parallel park

A friend who won't judge my Spotify playlists that go from lo-fi to death metal to Shrek soundtrack

Ideally owns a blanket that's way too big for any reasonable purpose

Likes chaotic conversations that spiral from "how was your day" to "do you think pigeons have regional accents?"

Let’s chat. Let’s vibe. Let’s become best friends and confuse everyone with how quickly we bonded. Or, y’know, get married for the tax benefits. I’ll bring snacks.

Send me your weirdest thought of the day as an opener. Or your pet’s name. Or your favorite kind of cheese. I accept all forms of communication.