Me 18 F i am struggling with this and my parents are no help. So one of my older sister Marina 27 F ( not her real name ). She got married on my birthday
which is a holiday and we didn’t know she got
married until she FaceTimed me when me and my parents were out to eat on my birthday and she said she got married on my birthday this happened about two months ago almost 3 months and I was and still am very upset about her getting married on my birthday and so I asked her about it this week and told her how I already have a hard time with my birthday being a holiday.
she said that it wasn’t her intention to make me feel hurt, and that my birthday matters to her, and that she is sorry and that date was meaningful to her marriage and that she still hopes that we can celebrate my birthday in a special way to make me feel special. I replied to her and told her that I don’t feel special I feel disrespected and I told her how there’s 364 days in a year and how she chose my birthday to get married. I told her how she took my day from me. She replied sorry again and that truly wasn’t my heart I didn’t choose that date to take anything away from you and I don’t see birthdays as something someone can own.
And that she is honored to find ways to make my birthday feel special in meaningful ways. I told her whatever
Because it felt like to me that she didn’t see where I was coming from and so I gave up in a way I told my mom about it and she told me to drop it and that I said my peace so just drop it and then I asked my dad about it and said that they choose that date possible so Marinas husband wouldn’t forget
I get that birthdays is not what someone can own, I honestly feel disrespected that I wasn’t asked nor do I feel like someone is understanding how I feel.
Sorry if this is bad Reddit I don’t do good at texting nor explaining.
Not an update but an explanation on some things:
I’m not going to get over something that is important to me. Maybe to some people their birthdays besides the big milestone ones aren’t that important to them but for me every year for my birthday it’s important to me.
My sister used to be one of the people that would make my birthday feel special so when she got married on my birthday, I didn’t feel special to her and I understand that it wasn’t her intention and that I have to share. I don’t care about sharing, but I don’t think it was fair that she got married on my birthday, and I understand that it is a holiday.
She was invited to my birthday dinner. She has came to my birthday weekend every year because we were really close and she would also make it to our other sisters birthday stuff which is in September and we would see her in between of those months as well. she said that she would be leaving the day of my birthday and leaving the next day and between her and her husband, there were two kids they are both toddlers so my mom told her not to worry about because my sister lives five hours away wouldn’t come here till late and as it gets later later in Valentine’s Day, it gets busier so we told her not to worry about it
Me and my sister used to be really close, but in the past year, our relationship has been strained due to issues.
The issues being I have recently got diagnosed about two years ago now with celiac and so when she came over, we had my younger sister‘s party, but she wanted to go to a experience instead and so that’s what the family did
we had a packed snacks for in the car and her son who is a toddler was in the car with me because we had to take multiple cars so she wasn’t with us. She packed him pretzels, which I cannot be around and give to him and I had already packed snacks that he liked and that I could give to him cause I was in the backseat with him. And when I told her I took the pretzels out of the snack bag, she rolled her eyes at me and that wasn’t the first time she had rolled her eyes at me about me being gluten-free
She doesn’t agree with me being a lesbian, and so that also caused a lot of issues
Me nor my parents know why she got married on that date because we had just seen her in December for Christmas and we didn’t see a engagement ring because if she wanted us there, we would have been there even though it’s five hours because she lives two states away