Back here again.. I (23) keep developing crushes on close friends who I spend a lot of time with (who aren't asexual). It's definitely because as an asexual and an autistic person, I have trouble telling romantic and platonic feelings apart when I'm comfortable enough to unmask around someone. I know queerplatonic exists, but I've had friendships ruined because of that as well.
And I've noticed a pattern in myself with a very specific type of friend where I always end up developing feelings. My latest crush being the exact same situation. I'm trying to withhold confessing to them because of past + semi-recent experiences of confessing ending badly and it's driving me a little crazy. Also because we're in the same friend group and it would be so awkward for everyone if it didn't work out.
But at the same time I feel like I'm only seeking out romantic relationships because it seems like something everyone does, so I should also be doing it. Idk. This shit is so frustrating. I wish my brain wouldn't develop feelings like this but here we are again.