Not sure how well this post will come out, because I’m feeling very very disassociated right now. This feeling comes as little as once every few weeks, or as often as multiple times per day. My biggest trigger is when my partner is upset at me or in a bad mood for completely unrelated reasons, but it can be triggered by other things as well. Sometimes (preferably) it is an emotionless disassociated state while other times feelings of intense sadness or self hatred bubble up, which has become more common. During a time of stress due to school and life, while trying to fall asleep I would sit up, disassociate, and then sob about everything in my life and about how much I hated myself. I would have thought loops about how I have no real reason to cry and I’m just pathetic….etc etc. It became a nightly routine.
Right now, I can feel the sadness bubbling up a little but my main issue is task paralysis. I’ve been sitting in my car (safe space) for almost an hour now in absolute silence and occasionally looking things up on Reddit to try to relate. My biggest coping mechanism is honestly trying to find others that have had similar experiences, but I need something more. I’m worried these mood swings and disorientations that I experience are happening more often and will affect my relationship more than it already has.
. I need to see a therapist lol, but in the meantime, does anybody have any good strategies to get through it or do you just have to ride out the wave? How do others with adhd cope with stresses in life or within relationships. How do you deal with the self hatred and sadness. Medication will eventually wear off, that’s a temporary fix and something I don’t always have access to. I don’t experience hyperactivity, I struggle to focus/form my own thoughts and this is my biggest symptom, and one that has altered my life in a negative way and has caused me to lose friendships.