Getting over him
I (20F) feel so pathetic writing this but I need some kind of validation.
For context i’ve been talking to this boy (20M) for about one month now, I have a MAJOR crush on him and i’m extremely attracted to him. I’m very picky about people I find attractive and overall have low libido so for me to be this attracted and overall excited by him is rare, I wouldn’t say he’s the most conventionally “hot” boy but for me something about him drives me crazy.
I want more from him but Im pretty sure he only sees me as someone to hook up with.
He doesn’t use his phone often which i know, so we don’t text often, but he calls me every second day just to chat, we only see each other on Saturday nights after we meet up at nightclubs and go home together, but when we are out he’s not ashamed to be with me, he introduces me to all his friends and his sister. he isn’t worried about people seeing us together in a relationship way.
I’ve tried to see him for just a hang out or a date, he says it sounds good but never plans anything, but when I plan something he’s never free, which could be true because he works a lot, or an excuse. I’ve spoken to him about wanting more from this and he says he “doesn’t know what he wants” my biggest mistake was probably sleeping with him to early so now that’s all he sees me as? i don’t usually do that but I have no self control when it comes to him.
I want to end it for my own self respect but i’m worried i won’t find anyone as attractive as I do him, and i think why would god or the universe make me so extremely attracted to this boy if there is no reason for it?
Is it just too early to be expecting anything serious yet? Am i just delusional?
Do you think there’s anyway he would change his mind? if so how can I make him change his mind.
i’m not boy crazy and for years before him i prioritised work and study, now i feel crazy and I can’t stop thinking about him.