Used to have sleepovers with my bestie. She got her boyfriend in town, and now the sleepovers are gone. It’s made me realize that she only really had them with me because she felt lonely without her partner with her 24/7 (he’s long distance).
It makes me feel like I was her second rate boyfriend instead of a valued friend, like I was just there to fight off her loneliness and not because she wanted her bestie there with her to paint nails and have fun together. I feel so betrayed and lonely, like I’ve been abandoned for shinier toys.
It turns out that she’s one of those girls who makes her entire life about her boyfriends and just stops communication with her friends, but I was really banking on her being there for me this summer because my other close friends have moved out of state for the next two months. She only texts me to ask if I can give her and her boyfriend rides to the airport. I graduated today and that was an afterthought to her! It hurts so badly.
The only song that seems to capture this feeling for me is Father by The Front Bottoms. The way the singer just doesn’t really care for his girlfriend at all and just stays with her because he just wants a place other than his house to sleep. Any place would do. The way he uses her as an escape from his problems instead of thinking of her as someone he actually wants to be around. 😭