u/Excellent-Ad-6272

This is not a rant. Just supposed to be a funny post.

The day started with him waking up to my daughter lovingly showering him with slobbery kisses. She’s 20 months old and loves him to death. When I called her, she said no and hugged him harder.

I woke up, made breakfast for everyone. He offered but I didn’t want what he offered (to boil eggs) and he didn’t ask what I preferred (fried eggs), so I chose to make what I wanted. As I made his breakfast, the eggs turned out perfect, with yolks intact. Mine dismantled as soon as I cracked my egg open. 🥲

I proceeded to make some cappuccino for both of us. I made his and realized my favorite coffee beans are now over so I settled for the brand I like but I don’t love.

The universe sure does love this mom.

Edit:

1. He didn’t offer to not make me breakfast. He just didn’t ask what I wanted and assumed I wanted something else.
2. It’s not martyr syndrome as someone suggested. I always make breakfast and make mine last so I can have it hot. Same with coffee. It’s not necessarily a sacrifice, but it is funny to me that my coffee just had to get over when I wanted a cup.
3. I wasn’t ranting, as I clearly mentioned.
4. We communicate 360+ days a year about everything that we want. Some days, it’s okay to expect the other person to understand without having being told. We’ve been together for 12+ years, so it’s not exactly a novel desire.

I’m 27 weeks with my 2nd. And with a 20 month old toddler. She’s great, not super high energy, but it’s a lot of work even so. My husband and I divide chores so I’m not doing everything per se.

I also work full time as an engineer. And I’m TIRED all the damned time. I can’t breathe when I sit in my chair, I need a thousand bathroom breaks during the day, can’t eat much, wake up even more tired than I was before sleeping. Some of my colleagues really piss me off with their constant requests. All I want is to be left alone for the next 13 weeks.

I’ve often considered asking colleagues for more time to respond cuz I’m pregnant and genuinely tired all the damned time, but of course I’ll never use that as an excuse in this capitalist country, where it’s such an easy excuse to get fired. But I really do want a reduced workload. And don’t know a good way to ask. How the hell do women work till 40 weeks of pregnancy?

Is this why my mum was pushing me to have kids in my 20s? I’m turning 36 this year and just about ready to die.

Is that a thing? This is 2nd time around, and I remember I had anxiety the last time, but this feels different .

I’m very happy with the pregnancy, but just depressed overall… specially with my relationship with my partner and my toddler. She rejects me every night, and just says no, I want daddy. I’m trying not to take it to heart, but it’s hard, specially since I know it’ll be more difficult after I give birth.

My relationship with my partner is not too great either, more so after the trauma of PPD after my last postpartum phase.

Last night, I had this overwhelming feeling that I was just a house-manager who was needed to make sure things are in order, and I’m not really “needed” by either my kid or my partner. It’s a really shitty way to feel and I don’t know how to get past it. I’m doing therapy, but these thoughts just get all-consuming nowadays.

We went for our 2nd session today. We’re new parents, with a 2nd child on the way, and have had issues dealing with the change in our routines, which has led to a lot of unpleasantness between us.

Most of my resentment stems from the fact that I need to parent my husband with simple things postpartum. My last pregnancy was not too easy, but I didn’t receive as much support as I wanted to. Even less this time around. Add to that, I had to deal with 6 months of bullshit from my in-laws staying with us, and my husband has never once acknowledged that they weren’t as nice to me as he thinks they were.

We had issues before we had our child, mostly related to him having no control over his gaming addiction, or consideration for my time when we plan something together. I feel like in our 12 years together, I’ve put up with a lot, but somehow that has been ignored.

I have anger management issues that I’m working hard to control. I go to my own individual therapy session and have been doing a lot better. I also let go of past fights easily and do not hold on to grudges to be used as ammunition for future fights, something my husband has been doing a lot for the past few years.

Our session today was me telling him why I get frustrated with him sometimes, and I explicitly mentioned that even during that frustration, I always make it a point to argue on his behalf just to make sure I’m not being overly unreasonable - for example, I’ll recognize if he does something to make things better, and that helps me let go of my frustration for a good amount of time.

All he talked about was how I’ve fought with him for the last decade we’ve been together and how I was unreasonable or uncaring or bullying or dominating. I felt like he went to the session with as much resentment he could muster to just rant and bitch about me.

I’ve been extremely melancholy since we’ve been back, and I’m not even sure why we’re working on this marriage when he clearly thinks I’m the only problem in our marriage. This pregnancy is always isolating, and now I feel like there’s even less support from the person I’m supposed to be sharing this journey with. I want to work on our problems, but not at the expense of being the sole responsible party in every thing that goes wrong in our lives.