I (17F) like this guy (18M) in my class that I get to see once a week. We’ve known each other for 2 years now, but I’m just slow to form crushes. I feel like we have been doing this dance back and forth where he seems to like me, I show interest, then he becomes distant, then I become distant….until it repeats again. He always intently listens when I talk and he seems nervous around me. He’ll start like showing out in class, and talks to everyone but me. But then I’ll catching him looking at me and he lights up whenever I compliment him on something. We also had a small class dance and he hung around me the entire time, and ended up being my partner for the only couple dance. I think he orchestrated that because I know I didn’t. He seems to like to talk to everyone in class more than me, but then we always end up sitting beside each other. I’m always late and he always has a sit open beside him.
I feel like I kinda blew it because I was just so obliviously in my own world I wouldn’t really pay attention to the cool impressive things he would do at lunch, and he just quietly stopped. I’ve been trying to give him signals the past few weeks, like I brought my favorite food to class that he was teasing me about and I think he got all excited because he knew I was communicating I enjoyed the moment. He was just so about me that day and sat beside me every opportunity and preened like an adorable bird all day, but the next week he was cold and kinda distant. I knew he likes to play a certain game so I brought those in. I offered to play with him and at first he declined and walked away. But then I think he saw me and that I was sad, so he came over, gave me a big smile, asked for the game and said “let’s play”. He was so much more energetic and happy after that.
Here is the rub, he has a girlfriend for about a year, while he has been on and off again flirting with me. He rarely brings her up though. I know he likes me even though he has a girlfriend. and I know I’ve done a terrible job of giving him any signs I’m in to him, but now I really like him.
Should I just persistently show genuine interest without being too bold?
I don’t fault him for having a girlfriend and flirting with me. The truth I have dating other guys knowing I liked him, But personally I would break up with the other guy if he asked me out because I like him so much more.
I know it’s my own fault for not being more invested sooner, and honestly I understand why he would be hesitant, but why does he do the hot cold thing so strongly. And how do I put myself out there without scaring him?