u/Exact_Insurance

My mom right now can walk around the house with her walker. She gets very out of breath however. She can dress and feed herself. She can pay her own bills and use the bathroom alone. Nothing wrong with her mind. She cannot shower alone and I am unable to help her anymore. She is not doing PT regularly.

My question is when / how did you know it was time to put your relative/LO in a facility? I guess I am searching for some definitive answers. I would also like to add her cardiologist said her heart is getting weaker as well as her kidney function

I just want to say thank you to everyone on this sub. This is the most helpful place I have been on Reddit..Thank you to everyone who reads and responds to my broken record posts.

And I wish peace, strength and healing vibes to all the caregivers out there. 😁

I am at home on my day off with my mom..and of course she is asleep on the damn couch.

I am at my breaking point. I have to talk ( try anyway) to her about this when my husband comes home. I am tired of walking around this house pissed off and resentful every minute of the day not to mention the horrible anxiety I have about what will happen if she does not TRY to do her damned 10 minutes of seated PT exercises.

I do not know if she does not believe me when I tell her I cannot and will not be able to lift her..physically or mentally. Talking to her is like trying to reason with a kid who puts their fingers in their ears and says la la la I can't hear you..and I am DONE.

Has anyone else had a relative who refused to do PT? What happened to them? I need some insight and advice

First I would like to say I know that my situation is not as difficult as some of you on here..and I wish peace and strength for everyone on here.

That being said I am done trying to convince my mother to do her damned PT exercises. Even after her new nurse told her how important it is do them daily she is just not doing it.

I am so angry and resentful that she does not even try just a tiny bit so she can remain at home. I am done begging and pleading with her..I am done with the whiny tantrums. I do not know if she does not believe that I am unable to lift her ( and unwilling). I think maybe she thinks I will just suck it up and do it...but I can't and won't.

My mom's new nurse came to the house yesterday. She asked me how I was doing on her way out..I was sitting in my front yard. I told her she was the first person to ever ask how I was doing.

So I told her about how I was scared of having to put my mom in a facility if she gets too weak to get out of bed. She told me I should not beat myself up and everyone has limits etc. I felt so heard and validated. Just wanted to share and thank the nurse...looking forward to seeing her next week

My mother had a meltdown over an appointment she forgot she had. It was rescheduled..fine. But then I get the whiny" I don't want to do this anymore". I did not say anything and then she whines"I am just trying to survive" l kind of lost my cool and said well so are we( me and hubby). I told her I cannot manage her appointments for her and I am doing everything I can.

Then after breakfast she is writing down the damned pills she took because like I said her system does NOT work..and I told her so. I am just so done with her lack of understanding how hard this is for my husband and I and I cannot have more crap piled on my back

Just had a lovely conversation with my mom..she asked me what was wrong and I said I was tired and stressed out. She says oh why? I said because of everything I am dealing with. Then she whined " Well I am going through a lot"

I kind of lost it and said " Well WE ( husband and I) are going through it right along with you AND working full time and taking care of everything in this house so a little appreciation would really go a long way " Then she started that whiny toddler crap and I told her if she is going to act like that on my damn day off I am leaving and not coming back until later. She just thinks I should be thrilled to have all this dumped on my back

Now she is on her best behavior. I honestly do not know how much more I can take of the Self centered attitude she has

I have been home with my mom all day. She claims "I walk around a lot during the day" Yea no you don't. She got up ate breakfast..walked to the couch and slept most of the day. Woke up for dinner and meds..walked back to couch and sleeping again. She has not done her PT exercises at all.

I get it..it is hard for her and she does not want to do much/ cannot do much. I truly get it.

But what she does not understand is if she wants to be at home until she passes..she NEEDS to be able to do some basic things for herself. Just sleeping on the couch is going to make her get weaker and weaker until she God forbid falls again and REALLY hurts herself or gets too weak to get out of bed.

I cannot talk to her about it because she does not want to hear it. I am just so so done with the constant anxiety I feel and if she needs to go to a facility at some point it will be all my fault

I have horrible anxiety. Worrying about the next crisis the next problem etc etc.

My biggest fear( irrational I know) is that something will happen to my husband. If God forbid it did or he were to leave me I would NOT be able to care for my mom alone There is just no way.

I tried to discuss this with her and she said she will move in with my son, hus girlfriend and his girlfriend's mother who has dementia. She said I will just rent a 3 bedroom apartment.

Like whaaaaattt? That is so out of touch with reality