u/Exact-Worry5377

It was my birthday not so long ago, and i invited my friends to go spend a night at a nice hotel and enjoy ourselves. My friend, let’s call her ema cancelled and told me it would be hard to convince her mother to let her go. I asked her mother personally, and she said she wouldn’t allow it.
I didn’t mind, and understood where she was coming from, but I still wanted her there because she is one of my good friends and decided to just do a small day trip, (leave at 9AM, come back 5PM).
And Ema still told me that she wouldn’t be able to go because she needed to study for exams which was the following Monday (the trip was planned Saturday, yes i had the same exam on Monday), which i found strange because she went to multiple extra lessons, to the point where she could practice with past papers and be done within the first 45 minutes. I didn’t sweat it, and just went with my other friend instead.

Now here’s the problem…
I know ema for 3 years, and i frequent her house often. I am close with everyone in her family ( the type of close where i have my own house slippers that her mom bought for me, and key) ema’s other friend birthday was shortly after, and that friend had a party which started at 7PM…in another town almost 2 hours away. Ema went and came back really late. I feel like i’m looking too much into it, but…how did Ema’s mom allow her to go to a party at another town, with people her mom doesn’t know personally…but couldn’t send Ema to my birthday, someone she knows for years.

I asked Ema about it and she told me that it wasn’t really fair to compare them because we had exams the following Monday, and her friend’s Bday party was after exams. And when i brought up the fact that she had been doing extra lessons for months now, and couldn’t give one day for me, Ema just said i was being dramatic.

I feel extremely hurt, and super unsure about my friendship with her, but also with her family after all of this. Maybe i am being dramatic or selfish? or maybe i have a right to feel this way? please help!

It was my birthday not so long ago, and i invited my friends to go spend a night at a nice hotel and enjoy ourselves. My friend, let’s call her ema cancelled and told me it would be hard to convince her mother to let her go. I asked her mother personally, and she said she wouldn’t allow it.
I didn’t mind, and understood where she was coming from, but I still wanted her there because she is one of my good friends and decided to just do a small day trip, (leave at 9AM, come back 5PM).
And Ema still told me that she wouldn’t be able to go because she needed to study for exams which was the following Monday (the trip was planned Saturday, yes i had the same exam on Monday), which i found strange because she went to multiple extra lessons, to the point where she could practice with past papers and be done within the first 45 minutes. I didn’t sweat it, and just went with my other friend instead.

Now here’s the problem…
I know ema for 3 years, and i frequent her house often. I am close with everyone in her family ( the type of close where i have my own house slippers that her mom bought for me, and key) ema’s other friend birthday was shortly after, and that friend had a party which started at 7PM…in another town almost 2 hours away. Ema went and came back really late. I feel like i’m looking too much into it, but…how did Ema’s mom allow her to go to a party at another town, with people her mom doesn’t know personally…but couldn’t send Ema to my birthday, someone she knows for years.

I asked Ema about it and she told me that it wasn’t really fair to compare them because we had exams the following Monday, and her friend’s Bday party was after exams. And when i brought up the fact that she had been doing extra lessons for months now, and couldn’t give one day for me, Ema just said i was being dramatic.

I feel extremely hurt, and super unsure about my friendship with her, but also with her family after all of this. Maybe i am being dramatic or selfish? or maybe i have a right to feel this way? please help!