u/Exact-Definition5722

Are there any catholics in your country, (heard some countries in middle east are not allowed to have a church) and are they persecuted or viewed critically by other dominant religions such as (american protestantism / protestant, islam, other faith.) and how are they viewed by the general public?

In March 2026, Gerardo Saco Jr. was appointed as the new bishop.

But just before his ordination (May 2026), he declined the appointment, saying it was due to a "change of heart" after prayer and recognizing his limitations.

I live alone and I struggle with depression and I’m medicated for it. It was the lowest point of my life because I felt alone so I decided to do a drug. I have past experience with this drug before, including other drug of the similar class

I decided to get this drug from a new source because one I had I was getting before was weak. I tried dosing 1 then 1.5 then 3 and I thought it was either the batch or my tolerance. My assumption was my mental medications numb the effects of drugs because it does with marijuana. So I got this new batch and my past self thought since my tolerance was high due to frequent use and my meds, I should take 5 of it and that was the start of something I’ll regret for a long time, it gave me PTSD cause i never took this again.

1.5 hours later I could only feel a mild visual and said to myself okay this is as expected because of my tolerance. But not long after that everything started increasing. The drug got really strong at this point. My visions became intense, like I’m living in a dream but still fully awake. Objects were moving and changing and it felt real. My thoughts started getting scattered and I couldn’t focus on anything properly.nAt some point I went outside and that’s where things got worse. I was walking around but I wasn’t really processing anything. I had small interactions with people but I wasn’t making sense and I could tell something was off but I couldn’t fix it. It felt like I was in reality but not actually part of it. like everything was slightly disconnected and I was just moving through it.

I had originally intended to go to the basilica in my city as as pictured here in St. John’s, Newfoundland. It’s called the Basilica of St. John the Baptist, and I remember thinking, before everything spiraled, that maybe being there would ground me somehow. I don’t even know why that idea came to me in that moment maybe it was because I grew up associating churches with silence, with stability, with something unchanging. I think a part of me was already searching for something to hold onto, even before I realized how far gone I was about to be.

When I got to there the church was closed and I was crying outside so At one point I ended up laying in a park in the bushes couldn’t move and it felt like I forgot what I am or lost myself. It’s hard to explain but it felt like the “me” I normally carry around just slipped away. At first it was slight feeling like my thoughts werent attached to me and I was just watching them. Then it got deeper and the sense of “I am this person, with this past, these worries” started dissolving.

There wasn’t fear like I expected and more like confusion turning into a weird calm. It felt like death because time didn’t feel linear anymore and everything around me stopped feeling separate. Like there was no boundary between me and anything else. I felt awareness but no center to it and no “owner.” It’s like me in my mother’s womb or before I was born. Coming back from that state was almost jarring because don’t know how long I was there.

As I was coming back I could form thoughts again but I was still high. Eventually I made it home safe because I can form thoughts where home is etc. (still have visuals at this point)nWhen I got home I took my prescription meds because I was having extreme panic attacks. I remember laying in bed for hours trying to calm down before the high finally started to fade.

After that I went to shower and that’s when everything hit me started to sober up started realizing what just happened and I was like is that it? is that my life?

It was difficult because everything felt stripped down in a way I wasn’t ready for. Like all the distractions I usually hide behind were gone and I was just left with myself. It wasn’t peaceful clarity because it felt more like being exposed. Like I couldn’t escape my own thoughts and they just kept looping, it was like dying and coming back to life. After that my mind wouldn’t let it go. I kept replaying everything over and over especially how far gone I was mentally. I got depressed for months.

I also kept seeing visuals after the trip for weeks (condition called HPPD) Something felt off, like I wasn’t fully back to normal. Everything had this weird distance to it and like I’m here but not completely here.

It felt like I didn’t know how to trust reality anymore. I didn’t know where to put my faith here so I stopped going to mass for months. Like I saw through it and didn’t know how to go back to just living normally. I didn’t know how to love people the same way knowing everything felt like a construct, like every thought was just a function of my ego. It felt like everything i believed in including my faith was just my mind. I started studying philosophy and at first it felt like I was getting closer to answers. Like I could think my way out of the confusion. I read about consciousness and identity and what’s real and what’s not and it gave me language for what I experienced. But the more I read the more it spiraled because every answer just opened more questions

Right now it feels like everything is just my mind. It feels like identity is fake and all my thoughts are just “processes” it feels like everything including faith is “constructed” by my mind. During that moment my brain shut down the stable sense of “self” and it made my thoughts the only thing left. It felt like there was nothing but awareness. What if Im nothing after and this living is useless?? then living is useless, everyday i struggle with what the ultimate meaning of everything is.

I feel like Im just a small drop of in the ocean of people. Who will live, exist, and die. Just like before me and after me. I feel so small compared to everything that i feel so insignificant. I view humanity from space (my mind is zooming out too far). If you look at how small earth is from space its so small, replaceable, and kind of meaningless. If i look at earth from space I don’t see friendships, i dont see someone crying, i dont see love sacrifice or care. I always have this constant big picture awareness and its affecting me daily. What about someone who lived, suffered, and died in some ancient war I feel like no one remembers them. Doesn’t that prove a life can just disappear and mean nothing? These thoughts are always in my head and its affecting me daily.

I want to buy this book because its very cheap and its in great condition. I just love printed stuff from 40-70s because of a distinct art style in it.

However I do know we have three cycles for missal so I don’t know if this specific missal are still in use today?