Hey,
My name is Ewan, I am a retired model, football player, and competitive climber. I’ve always been told that I’m attractive and personable, but I’ve never really been given a chance to show people the person I really am.
While I was in high school, a lot of my friends were going out on dates or already had a partner. And while they were running off with people they connected with deeply, I was essentially stuck in a hole not knowing how to climb out.
I’ve always struggled with trusting people, I grew up with parents going through a messy divorce. The stem of my trust issues come from my mother. She was extremely deceitful and manipulative towards me when I was young. I was ab\*\*\*ed on multiple occasions by my mother. She always said that, “this is what love is.” “I’m doing this because I love you.” That was the image of love I had in my head for a long time.
I realised how bad my mental health was back in January of 24’ and asked my father to get me help. I went through a year and nine months of intensive therapy. I learned how to open up more, but no matter how hard I try, I feel I never reach that connection that my friends and family have with romantic interests.
With that being said, I feel that dating apps are useless. It feels like a spinning a slot machine hoping that I will hit a jackpot. I feel worse about myself the longer I’m on them. I try to stay off them, but I end up being drawn back onto them.
I’m curious about how I reach the connection I’ve always dreamed of having? What is the least uncomfortable way to be approached by a stranger?