My boyfriend has a feeder fetish. I need help...
I’m a 22-year-old woman, and I recently started a relationship with my boyfriend, who is also 22. He is incredibly kind and genuinely everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner. After a few months together, we decided we were ready to become intimate. However, we immediately encountered a problem — he was unable to maintain an erection.
At first, I blamed myself and wondered if maybe I wasn’t attractive enough for him. He reassured me right away and explained that he has a fetish-related issue that affects him sexually. Before meeting him, I didn’t even know this fetish existed, but now it’s constantly on my mind because it has affected our intimacy so much. We still haven’t been able to have sex because he struggles to become fully aroused.
When he first told me about it, I was honest with him and explained that I wasn’t comfortable participating in anything related to that fetish. I’ve struggled with body image and weight issues for most of my life, so this situation has been especially difficult for me emotionally.
I have weird thoughts that he wouldn't like me if I lost weight and that I wouldn't notice that he is making me gain it. He promised that he would never pressure me into doing anything that made me uncomfortable. We are together for such a short period of time so I just don't have that kind of trust in him yet, but I believe that he is a very genuine person so I gave this problem a little more time to solve itself!
We agreed that he would stop consuming content related to the fetish, and we’ve had many open and honest conversations about the issue. I truly believe he is making an effort to improve the situation. We even talked about him getting therapy!
My question is: is it possible that his fetish is the reason he cannot become aroused with me, especially because I’m unwilling to participate in it? The fact that we keep trying and he still cannot get fully hard, regardless of what I do, has been very upsetting and confusing for me. It is important to clarify that ever since we agreed on him stopping his habits every time we try it has been better and better, so should we just give it a bit more time?
I would really appreciate any advice or guidance on what we can do moving forward.