Hi all, I(M24) just recently broke up my 2 year relationship with my ex girlfriend(F24) just this past few weeks. I am someone whose love language is physical touch and has communicated to her at the early stage of our relationship. After the breakup, which I initiated (due to other reasons, not really because of the lack of intimacy), I am now trying to move on and self heal. However there was a problem which is that I still get horny. My only way on relieving myself was to masturbate but the problem is that every time I do that, I just think of the times we have sex and I really felt so bad because it was the one that only gets me to finish, not porn in the internet. I felt that what I was doing was not healthy. My high libido doesn’t really affect my everyday life and I was doing it everyday even before my relationship but I can still function well like doing my job and spending time with friends. It just felt like I am ready to move on with the person but I can’t seem to move on with our intimacy moments together. I refuse to find some situation ship or fwb. I just want to have alone time masturbating be back to normal and be at least healthy and not think of her.
Edit: To give more context, she was my first on everything when it comes to sex so it doesn’t help that hers is the only thing I think about.