I (32) have been with my partner, Daniel for 6 months. We live together, and he works in the tech industry. From a practical standpoint, he provides a massive amount of financial stability. He supports my living expenses, and recently, during a really hard financial time, he even stepped up and paid for my bottom surgery. I know this is a profound act of support, and I am deeply grateful for it.
However, I am really struggling with the emotional and romantic side of our relationship. Despite his immense practical support, he isn't very romantic at all. He makes a lot of jokes, but day-to-day, I feel like he treats me more like a roommate than a romantic partner. We share small kisses here and there, but in my opinion, the romanticism feels like it has completely faded.
Part of me worries that he doesn't actually love me in a romantic way. I am hesitant to bring this up to him directly because I absolutely do not want to come across as overly needy or ungrateful for everything he provides. And when I ask him he just says he does love me. It’s worth mentioning his attachment style is ‘secure’ and I have an anxious attachment with physical contact and words of affirmation. Oh and I’m his first trans girlfriend and we haven’t had much sex if not at all for weeks. He said he also struggled with intimacy in his previous marriage.
I’m looking for some objective opinions:
Is this kind of arrangement normal for a relationship that is only 6 months old?
Is it normal for the romanticism to fade this quickly, especially when there’s this level of financial and practical enmeshment?
Any perspective would be really appreciated.