u/Every-Definition-972

Hi, I can't believe I am writing here, but I really need some unbiased opinions/advice. My boyfriend and I have been in a committed long-distance relationship approaching 7 years this August. We have been together since we were 15, after meeting online. Within those 7 years, we have done a lot of growing up, but have stayed consistently present in each other's lives and aligned until the past year.

I have always been an anxious person, while he is more level-headed. I went through serious periods of pulling at school from boys and my boyfriend was the one to show me that this treatment was not right and I was worth more than what they made me believe to be. Fast forward to this last year, and my mental health took a dark turn, finally i seeked help, started my journey on sertraline/zoloft and have since been diagnosed with autism. With the help of sertraline I feel as though i am finally beginning to truly live my life without this nagging anxiety holding me down, and because of this, I have become a lot less independent emotionally, which i thought would benefit our relationship... well, this has not been the case.

As it is common, my drive is lacking and not because I no longer find my boyfriend attractive i just feel as though it serves no purpose for me anymore. I go about my day content, and not a thought goes by about it. My boyfriend has been growing frustrated recently. I felt as though things were coming to an end on my part due to his behaviour and unwillingness to understand. Today we had another hard-hitting conversation about this matter, for context, this has been happening for about 5 months, and within that time, we have seen each other three times. When we are together, things are good in that department. I feel safe and secure, and the signs are easy to read. However, trying to keep a long-distance relationship exciting when apart is challenging, and zoloft has made this harder on me.

I have tried to be forgiving, lenient, and understanding, but I am beginning to grow frustrated myself. I understand he must feel constantly rejected, but I am finding it hard to keep reassuring him atp. My bf has made it clear he does not feel as connected with me as he did prior to me taking sertraline, and cannot be in a relationship where sex is not present.

While this is the major issue, i am growing extremely concerned about his communication style. I feel shameful and guilty as it is but the way he treats me in these conversations is what hurts the most. Just a couple days ago, he confessed that he feels our relationship is steering in the direction of a friendship. Sometimes, he looks at me and wants to compliment me but stops himself, and the most hurtful of all is sometimes when we're talking, he feels "no attraction, whatsoever, zero". This is where I burst into tears, then I get his pitying "baby, talk to me, what's wrong", like that wasn't an extremely hurtful thing to say to your partner of 7 years... I find in these situations it is easier to just shut down and agree, as I feel as though I am not being heard.

I am having a very hard time seeing the severity of this all. I know he is in need of one thing and one thing only; he has made that perfectly clear, but it makes me feel as though that is all my worth to him now, even though he promises it is not. Should your partner not be happy to see you happy and thriving, even if it comes at a small cost? And as we are long distance, my bf has been clear from the beginning that he will not move to the UK, I would have to move to Europe to be with him, learn the languages and restart my whole career (which hasn't even begun yet). Not only is he not willing to talk this matter out with close family or someone separate, so I am left to receive the full force of it all, I am making so many more sacrifices for someone who treats me like this and is not willing to help themselves??

And to top all of this off, I am in my final year of uni with my diss overdue, I don't have the time to sort such a large issue out with my full focus at this point. I am tired and exhausted from always feeling like I am failing at being a good partner.

I think a part of me is holding on to the boy who truly cared for me, but letting him go means a big part of my life will be gone forever. At this stage in time, is my relationship even salvageable? I just want to feel loved...

Hi, I can't believe I am writing here, but I really need some unbiased opinions/advice. My boyfriend and I have been in a committed long-distance relationship approaching 7 years this August. We have been together since we were 15, after meeting online. Within those 7 years, we have done a lot of growing up, but have stayed consistently present in each other's lives and aligned until the past year.

I have always been an anxious person, while he is more level-headed. I went through serious periods of pulling at school from boys and my boyfriend was the one to show me that this treatment was not right and I was worth more than what they made me believe to be. Fast forward to this last year, and my mental health took a dark turn, finally i seeked help, started my journey on sertraline/zoloft and have since been diagnosed with autism. With the help of sertraline I feel as though i am finally beginning to truly live my life without this nagging anxiety holding me down, and because of this, I have become a lot less independent emotionally, which i thought would benefit our relationship... well, this has not been the case.

As it is common, my drive is lacking and not because I no longer find my boyfriend attractive i just feel as though it serves no purpose for me anymore. I go about my day content, and not a thought goes by about it. My boyfriend has been growing frustrated recently. I felt as though things were coming to an end on my part due to his behaviour and unwillingness to understand. Today we had another hard-hitting conversation about this matter, for context, this has been happening for about 5 months, and within that time, we have seen each other three times. When we are together, things are good in that department. I feel safe and secure, and the signs are easy to read. However, trying to keep a long-distance relationship exciting when apart is challenging, and zoloft has made this harder on me.

I have tried to be forgiving, lenient, and understanding, but I am beginning to grow frustrated myself. I understand he must feel constantly rejected, but I am finding it hard to keep reassuring him atp. My bf has made it clear he does not feel as connected with me as he did prior to me taking sertraline, and cannot be in a relationship where sex is not present.

While this is the major issue, i am growing extremely concerned about his communication style. I feel shameful and guilty as it is but the way he treats me in these conversations is what hurts the most. Just a couple days ago, he confessed that he feels our relationship is steering in the direction of a friendship. Sometimes, he looks at me and wants to compliment me but stops himself, and the most hurtful of all is sometimes when we're talking, he feels "no attraction, whatsoever, zero". This is where I burst into tears, then I get his pitying "baby, talk to me, what's wrong", like that wasn't an extremely hurtful thing to say to your partner of 7 years... I find in these situations it is easier to just shut down and agree, as I feel as though I am not being heard.

I am having a very hard time seeing the severity of this all. I know he is in need of one thing and one thing only; he has made that perfectly clear, but it makes me feel as though that is all my worth to him now, even though he promises it is not. Should your partner not be happy to see you happy and thriving, even if it comes at a small cost? And as we are long distance, my bf has been clear from the beginning that he will not move to the UK, I would have to move to Europe to be with him, learn the languages and restart my whole career (which hasn't even begun yet). Not only is he not willing to talk this matter out with close family or someone separate, so I am left to receive the full force of it all, I am making so many more sacrifices for someone who treats me like this and is not willing to help themselves??

And to top all of this off, I am in my final year of uni with my diss overdue, I don't have the time to sort such a large issue out with my full focus at this point. I am tired and exhausted from always feeling like I am failing at being a good partner.

I think a part of me is holding on to the boy who truly cared for me, but letting him go means a big part of my life will be gone forever. At this stage in time, is my relationship even salvageable? I just want to feel loved...