24 y/o Cis Woman
I've known that I am attracted to women for pretty much all my life. I am attracted to women both sexually and romantically and once I realized, I have never questioned it again. However, with men I find myself going back and forth. I don't see myself ever being in a romantic relationship with a man. But I am not really sure if I'm sexually attracted to them.
I've tried experimenting with men twice, both experience were terrible, and I cried both times. I'm not sure if I didn't enjoy it cause it was bad sex or because genuinely am not attracted to men. Both of these experiences also happened during a really traumatic event in my life where I was making decisions I wouldn't have made normally. Part of me wants to try one last time just to completely rule it out.
I also have these really confusing thoughts where I imagine myself as a man even though I am completely comfortable with my gender identity. I like the idea of having sex with a man as a man and having sex with a woman as a man. When I imagine myself as a cis woman having sex with a man I am repulsed unless I imagine myself having the power in the dynamic. I'm not sure if this is related in any way but they are really adding to my confusion. I've identified as both bi and lesbian in the past, but neither of those labels have ever felt right. I think a big part of it is because I don't know I am attracted to men.