u/Evening_Analyst2385

He broke up with me 3 weeks and 1 day ago. He was more emotional than I was with the breakup. After 10 days, he reached out asking my opinion about something he stated as incompatible, then disappeared again. 5 days later he asked me to attend an event with him. I replied within a few hours and said yes (I wanted to see if he would discuss what happened, because he did have two major stressors hit at once). Then he ghosted. The event was last night. I found out he still went.

Today I texted saying I am no longer comfortable continuing contact and asked that he refrain from contacting me going forward. I feel free from hoping he will reach out, that he will change his mind, that he may continue to bread crumb, etc. I have been mad at myself for letting him engage me after the breakup because I had said that day that I don’t want to remain friends…but I thought he was changing his mind. Now I get to go heal.

Just curious. In my case, he stated 2 reasons for incompatibility (both were never an issue before). I addressed one reason at the breakup. Later he reached out asking my opinion about the other reason. He never brought up the first reason. My assumption is that my addressing it somehow resonated with him. He reached out once after and did not bring up the second reason.

The avoidant who ended it 10 days ago is already texting, same day that I hear from my pathological ex from a relationship that ended 2 years ago (he is Cluster B). Neither one addressing what happened. 🙄