u/EveningActuary5606

I’m struggling with intense envy toward KATSEYE and I don’t really know how to explain it without sounding ridiculous. Ever since I got into K-pop a few months ago, I’ve become obsessed with the life idols have, especially being in a group, performing, being admired, and having that level of attention and importance.

Whenever I see KATSEYE performing or even clips of them online, I get this horrible sinking feeling in my stomach. It’s not because I dislike them — it’s because I feel deeply jealous of the life they have. I know idol life comes with a lot of pressure, criticism, and personal struggles, and I’m not ignoring that, but I still want everything that comes with it: the attention, the crowd, the opportunities, being around other talented people, and feeling like your life matters on a huge scale.

The hardest part is that I got so emotionally invested in them that it almost feels like I should be there too somehow, and I got left behind. I know that sounds irrational, but emotionally it feels like I’m watching the life I was supposed to have happen to other people instead.

Before discovering K-pop, I didn’t feel this strongly, but now it’s affecting me a lot. My own life feels repetitive and small in comparison, and I can’t stop feeling like I’ve been cursed with an ordinary life while wanting something much bigger. I think part of what makes this so painful is that being average doesn’t feel okay to me. I know that probably sounds shallow, but I really struggle with the idea of living a normal life while knowing a world like theirs exists.

I feel embarrassed even admitting this, but it’s become hard to watch them without feeling upset. Has anyone dealt with this kind of intense envy toward idols or celebrities? How did you cope with it or stop it affecting you so much?

(ik i seem like a horrible person but please be gentle im rlly struggling rn) also im 19

I’m 19 and currently in university. A few months ago I got into K-pop, and since then it has started to affect my mental health and how I see my future. I’ve become very fixated on the idea of being on stage or in a girl group, and I often compare myself to idols or think about what I’ve “missed out on.”
Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about audition opportunities like Girls Planet 2 and other “global girl group” projects. I feel really conflicted because I’m not sure if these are actually the kind of groups I want to be in or if they are still basically K-pop style systems. I’m also confused about the difference between something like a truly global group (like KATSEYE) versus a more traditional K-pop survival show format, and I don’t know if it’s even worth auditioning or if I’m just getting caught up in the idea of it.
Part of me really wants to try because I’m drawn to the idea of performing and being in a group, but another part of me feels like I didn’t even care about this before K-pop and I’m not actually trained or exceptional. I also feel anxious about leaving university or making big decisions based on something I’m not even sure is a real long-term passion or just something I’ve become emotionally attached to recently.
i feel stuck between wanting to pursue this and trying to focus on a normal path through uni, and I don’t know how to tell what is realistic or what I should do. I would really appreciate any advice from people who’ve felt confused about their path or influenced by media/fandom culture like this. Also i’m not east or southeast asian if that helps.

I’m 19 and currently in university. A few months ago I got into K-pop, and since then it has started to affect my mental health and how I see my future. I’ve become very fixated on the idea of being on stage or in a girl group, and I often compare myself to idols or think about what I’ve “missed out on.”
Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about audition opportunities like Girls Planet 2 and other “global girl group” projects. I feel really conflicted because I’m not sure if these are actually the kind of groups I want to be in or if they are still basically K-pop style systems. I’m also confused about the difference between something like a truly global group (like KATSEYE) versus a more traditional K-pop survival show format, and I don’t know if it’s even worth auditioning or if I’m just getting caught up in the idea of it.
Part of me really wants to try because I’m drawn to the idea of performing and being in a group, but another part of me feels like I didn’t even care about this before K-pop and I’m not actually trained or exceptional. I also feel anxious about leaving university or making big decisions based on something I’m not even sure is a real long-term passion or just something I’ve become emotionally attached to recently.
i feel stuck between wanting to pursue this and trying to focus on a normal path through uni, and I don’t know how to tell what is realistic or what I should do. I would really appreciate any advice from people who’ve felt confused about their path or influenced by media/fandom culture like this. Also i’m not east or southeast asian if that helps.