u/Even-Truck-8049

TLDR: I told my husband his father wasn't his real bio dad after 24 years of him not knowing.

I, 31F, told my husband, 33M, before we were married, a secret that was revealed to me when his father had been drinking. The night before we were set to close on our home, his father was in the garage smoking and told me that he was not my husband's real biological father. I was shell-shocked. I thought he was messing with me at first, and came to find out he was being serious. My husband never would have questioned who his father was; he was treated better than his siblings, even by both parents.

I kept this secret for a month after I found out who the real father was. My husband growing up had "neighbors" who were a little too close to him for just being neighbors, in my opinion. It now makes perfect sense. These neighbors were perceived as friends when in reality they were his aunt/uncle, cousin, and grandma who lived right across the street. They did everything with him. Took him on vacations, he was best friends with his first cousin. They always played/hung around each other.

Come to find out, his father (the man that raised him, I will call him his father because that is what he is) had a vasectomy when his mother wound up pregnant. His father knew it wasn't his, and they had been having issues in their marriage prior to this. Turns out the bio dad was the man across the street, still living with his mom. My husband's mom would go over there when his father went to work. They were having an affair.

I told his aunt/uncle I knew the truth, and the aunt took me to meet his bio dad. He had married, but never had any other children. They were for this and wanted my husband to know his real father. They stated it was never their place to tell him, and that it was a secret kept by EVERYONE. All of the neighbors knew, everyone in his life knew. Except him. Even his other siblings knew.

His mom never wanted him to know because the bio dad did not want to be with her romantically, and she did not want to give my husband his last name. He was also threatened by his father, stating that he was going to raise him as his own, and that is what he did. The bio dad stayed back because he thought he was honoring their wishes of raising them together. He was young, about 23 at the time, and his mother was in her mid-30s.

I finally told my husband one night because he knew something was wrong. He took it okay at first, and then it hit him like a wrecking ball. He felt so betrayed by everyone and hurt. I could not blame him. I felt like I couldn't be everyone else in his life without telling him the truth, especially since we were about to get married.

He confronted both of his parents about it, and his mom was furious at me for telling him. That is what pretty much ended our relationship. It went downhill from there.

My husband has now been in therapy and has a healthy relationship with the bio dad. His mom blames me for telling him, and his feelings towards her. AITAH?

*before anyone asks, no this is not a fake story, and no I am not a bot*