u/Euphoric-Builder8721

I female 42 have gone no contact with my mom for almost 22 years. For some context im the oldest girl of 7 we are Jamaican which mean all tho i have 3 older brothers the borden of caring for the house was solely my problem. Mother worked as a teacher and was married to a man that could not keep a job he was also a pedo. As a child my mom was not was not very loving towards none of us. when we got to 12 my mother put us out statimg we are grown. So i rasised my younger siblings after years my mother shows up in the younger siblings lives in which i had no problem, She tried brainwashing them into thinking i kidnapped them lol def didnt do that. the younger siblings choose to go on her side and to keep her happy started talking down to me and everything else. fast foward 5 years and my mom has now throw the youngers siblings out again so i take them. my youngest sibling is getting married and he is worried my mom is going to ruin because at my older brothers wedding my mom acted a right fool the whole night, (she kissed my cousin's husband she slapped the maid of honour who wanted to punch her out, her speech was creepy as hell stating that she wish she could marry my brother, she got caught f the valet and tried to makeout with the wedding planner who is a very gay man) I dont blame him for being worried. so out of concern for my youngest sib i told my mom shes welcome to come but she will not be giving a speech and she cant have and spirits which my dad said was reasonable to ask. My mo lost it he called he screaming that im not the mom and i dont have any rights to tell her anything i simple told her i raised them so i am the mom and if she didnt think i was a good mom why did she leave her kids with me. well that set her in to a downhill spin she was pisssed she hung up not before says "you will see you little bitch". i call dad and let him know what happen about two days later my brothers soon to be wife calls me in a panick i ask whats wrong she tells me that my mom has planned to show up to her sons wedding in full white gown and limo like shes the bride she told the actual bride thst they will just have to share the day now i was angry because my mom is so entiled and only doing this to get on mu nerves. I called her and said very clearly "mother why are you planning on wearing a white gown to your sons wedding?" because i should be getting married to him pardon me said mom your not doing this again if you keep this up you will be univited she just huffed. two weeks before the wedding i get a call from the dress shop saying my mom is trying to pick up the brides dress for herself and change the wedding dress to something else smh i called my older brother and we drove over to her house she was all upset the store wouldnt give her the dress i was so pissed i walked and said your not coming to this wedding i cancelled your invite and your dress i cant keep parenting you smh. my older brother agreed and said mom just dont come your going to ruin it. now my mom went to her side of family and told them we just kicked her out of the wedding didnt tell them any of the stuff she has been doing. are we the aholes

I female(42) live in an apartment with two roomates who we will call cat and dog(real humans) Dog is my older cousin and real cool hardworking guy, cat is dogs buddy. I have chf and lung issues Dog keeps place very clean cat not so much. I work as a chef and is going most days Same with Dog he is in construction and works out of town cat doesnt work. when i first moved in i notied that dog does most of the work in the houses, cat has a pet a cat in which he doesnt clean up after. Because both me and Dog are at work most days cat is expected to clean (wash dishes and take out the grabage) he doesnt do the dishes for days allows the pet to eat out of the dishes and cups pet walking in the litterbox and then in the plates we eat off of. the first week i said nothing dishs pulled up in the sinked litterbox smelled disgusting house trashed i clean it all up both me and dog cat sat his butt on the couch watching. the second week same nasty crap, this went on for two months. I had to see my specialist for my chf doc is wondering why i have an infection i explain about cat not cleaning the litterbox. when i finished at the doc i went home and told cat what the doc said he simple said ok..... a week later i get home and before i get in the house i can smell the litterbox im pissed at this point i walk in and telling him to clean it, gives me every excuse in the book i go to my room close the door and lite candles.

i was on leave for two weeks after that encounter everyday i watch as cat gets up out his bed with the same clothes and leave to the store no tooth brush nothing !!!! i watched him not bathe for month or do laundry ever ugggggh he smells you can smell him coming. i went back to work and he got worst fast foward to yestarday i got home from working a 12 hour weekend shift to him still in the same clothes he showered and put on 7 months ago and the house smelling like the cat pissed on everything and him cooking in a nasty kitchen.

I lost it completely flip my top me and i quote "i know your lying aint no god damn way you this grown and this nasty mf. your a nasty mf, do you know that you havent showered in 7 months you nasty B what tf is the matter with you. i swear to god clean this nasty litterbox go and shower and clean the bathroom with bleach when your done nasty f'er " he tried to say he was just about to go and i cut him off "no you werent you nasty mfif you dont clean and shower this place im rehome you and your nasty cat i dont know how you own a pet and dont clean up after it."

Dog posted the cat for rehoming he said we shouldnt have let him get the cat and now cat says im the ahole is it my fault am i the ahole