u/EstimateVarious7638

My boyfriend (22 and ADHD) is fantastic in person. We see each other maybe 1-3 times a week. He’s so silly and sweet and giving towards me. We have so many fantastic memories, and he always makes time to see me and make me a priority. However, he sometimes does this thing where he randomly goes super cold. As if a switch in his brain flips. Sometimes it’s completely random while we’re on the phone. Other times it’s because I might do something to annoy him. For example: he talks to me about extremely reckless things like wanting to ride a motorcycle to outrun cops. It really makes me honestly a little angry, but I never yell at him or get mad, I just try to rationalize: “Is there anything else you can do for a rush instead of putting yourself and others at risk?” And he always has some stupid rebuttal against whatever I have to say. He gets annoyed that I’m not supportive of all the reckless ideas he has. He gets super dry, and says one worded responses. Doesn’t compliment me. Doesn’t ask any questions. Doesn’t try and keep the conversation alive. He won’t tell me what’s bothering him. All because he gets annoyed that I’m not supporting him for wanting to outrun cops. I really can’t get through to him. Sometimes it sounds like he’s being held at gunpoint just to speak to me. He never apologizes for making me feel upset by doing this. I would do anything to fix this. I love him so much, we’re such a great team and we fix problems so easily. I feel so unlovable. But I give him everything I possibly can. I always am sweet, supportive, compliment him. Every day. I always drive to him when we see each other. I buy him little gifts. I would do anything for this man. I take accountability when I’m wrong. I apologize. It’s just not enough. What do I do? To all the guys out there, have you ever experienced this, and what can I do? I always try to ask him how he’s feeling and if there’s anything I can do because he makes me feel uncomfortable when he does that. And that I’m all open ears and will listen to whatever he has to say.