u/Estefa_28

I've been dealing with this since 2021, and in the past I've spent months without doing it, but I always end up doing it again.

Today I did it again after being clean for 5 weeks, and I keep thinking about all the times in the past when I believed it would be the last time, but it never was. Will this stay with me forever? Has anyone been able to truly overcome this?

I feel like I'm cursed to live with this forever, and the suicidal thoughts and feelings of failure always come back with it.