14 year old and I need a bit of help figuring this out (if ur a mom or dad / guardian pls read this i need help)
Hi, I’m 14F and my stepdad is 48M. I don’t know what to do after a fight we had today.
For as long as I can remember, he’s been loud and angry a lot. I’m also a sensitive person, which probably doesn’t help. Today was Mother’s Day, so it feels even worse because my mom was supposed to have a relaxing day.
Apparently I was supposed to wash the dishes, but I genuinely didn’t know. I was in the shower getting ready for a family outing, and he said he knocked on my door and told me to do them. I couldn’t hear him over the water, so I had no idea.
When I came downstairs dressed and putting my shoes on, he got extremely angry and yelled, “Why the fuck are you not doing the dishes?” I was confused because I thought maybe my brother had done them already. I looked at the sink, saw the dishes, and said, “I didn’t know I was supposed to do them.”
He started screaming, saying, “Trying to get you to do anything is like pulling fucking teeth!” I kept apologizing and explaining that I didn’t hear him because I was showering, but he just got angrier.
I started washing the dishes while he kept yelling. After a few minutes I said something like, “I’m a 14-year-old girl and you’re a grown man yelling at me over dishes.” That set him off even more. He said, “Okay, you want to be a fucking brat? I’m taking your shit,” and stomped upstairs into my room.
My room was messy and I had smokes in there, so I panicked and yelled at him to get out. He eventually did, but not before calling me a “fucking spoiled brat” and saying “fuck you, brat” while going downstairs.
At that point I was sobbing because he’s basically the only father figure I’ve ever had. My real dad is in prison, so this is my first experience having a dad around, and it’s also his first time helping raise a daughter.
I confronted him crying and said, “You just said ‘fuck you’ to your own daughter.” I ended up having a mini panic attack in my room.
Then he suddenly calmed down, came into my room, apologized, hugged me, and said he was stressed because he wanted Mother’s Day to be perfect. But then he offered me $30 and basically asked me not to tell my mom. Typing this out now makes me realize how messed up that sounds.
I took the money because I felt bad for him, but now I feel guilty for not telling my mom because I know she’d be furious at him.
I honestly don’t know what to do. Any advice helps.