AITA for trying to surprise my mom with a Mother’s Day gift when she thought I forgot about her?
Some important context: I (25F) live in DC, and my mom (65F) lives in Chicago. She's coming to DC this upcoming week for work. Mother's Day is her favorite holiday.
I had planned to give her a gift and celebrate with her when I saw her this week because I thought it would feel more meaningful in person. I didn't tell her because I wanted it to be a surprise. I also sent flowers and a card earlier today.
Later in the day, my dad texted me saying my mom was "crushed" because she felt like I hadn't done anything for Mother's Day. At that point, I hadn't called her yet because I hadn't had a chance, so I called her on my way to something.
Immediately, I could tell she was really upset. She told me she felt forgotten and that she is always the one doing things for other people and for me. She also mentioned that her friends' daughters had all done things with their moms, although they all live in the same city as their parents, while I live in another state.
I tried explaining that I had planned to celebrate with her this week in person and that I thought she would enjoy that more, but she felt like I was being defensive and not listening to why she was hurt.
Now I feel like everything I planned has lost its meaning. She thinks I'm only doing it now because she got upset, when in reality, I had planned this beforehand and genuinely thought it would be nicer in person.
After the phone call, I ended up going home crying because I felt like a terrible daughter, even though I never forgot about her.
AITA for waiting to celebrate in person instead of making the plan clearer earlier?