Basically as the post says. My partner is really into running. She runs every off day she has, participates in marathons, etc. I love supporting her and showing up for her as much as I can. It’s really her most passionate hobby. She has made friends in this community and has formed good bonds. MY hobbies are more subtle and in the form of art. I do pottery and knitting, as well as painting. I’ll pick them up when I truly need to mentally check out or when I have free time. I’ve always put my hobbies 2nd to my career, as they do not provide income to me. They’re just that…hobbies.
My partner is really on me to get into a physical hobby. I played soccer in high school but it was mainly to try and get an athletic scholarship. I hung my cleats up years ago. I told her that I’m not really into performative hobbies. That I enjoy my art, in the comfort of my home. She doesn’t really take this as an answer. She says that my hobbies need to form a community. Which yes, I can see what she means, but if it brings me joy and is my decompression after work, why is it less than what she is doing? Also mentioning how I put my career first and then my hobbies, she doesn’t do that all the time. My partner will spend loads of money on various shoes, marathon entrance fees, and sometimes spending money on flights/hotels. She often misses work for a lot of these events. She is very much a hobby first, career second person.
I’m not downing her hobbies as she does mine. But I would like her to respect that I do quiet things. And I sometimes don’t have time to do my hobby every single day. Sometimes on my days off, I need to get my errands and chores done, and IF I have spare time, I do my art. She will neglect her obligations for marathon training or group runs all the time. I’ve brought this up to her and how she never really asks about my hobbies and only talks about her, and again we going circles about me needing to go into a physical hobby. I don’t know how else to address this and not start small arguments.
TLDR: my partner does a physical hobby, while I do a creative one. She doesn’t really respect mine, because I’m not doing a physical activity and it causes friction. I want her to see me as the same level as her when it comes to our own interests.