Does anyone else’s brain make up arbitrary “if-then” rules about random tasks to predict major life anxieties?
I’m under a massive weight right now. Between the constant fear of layoffs and the weight of a recent heartbreak, I feel like I’m drowning—and my brain has started doing something truly exhausting to cope.
It’s inventing these random "if-then" rules for every single thing I do.
“If I make this green light, I won’t get laid off.”
“If I can type this without a single typo, I’m safe.”
“If I get a gym locker on the first try, things will be okay.”
Rationally, I know a traffic light or a gym locker has zero impact on company finances or my boss's decisions. But I’ve reached a point where I can’t do anything without these conditions popping up. It’s like my mind is desperately trying to shrink these massive, terrifying problems into tiny pass/fail tests that I can actually control.
I’m spiraling, terrified of things like Murphy’s Law or the idea that I’m somehow "manifesting" my own downfall just by thinking about it. I don’t want this. I just want to be a normal, positive person again.
Does anyone else deal with this specific kind of intrusive loop? How do you stop your brain from turning every mundane chore into a high-stakes omen for your worst fears?