I'm not sure of it's a right sub but it's midnight I don't care.
I went and saw movie Drama. I really liked it. Something about it opened me up and I broke up in the middle of communial dorm kitchen. I was clouse to something but that hairy guy that always spills water and sometimes walks around the corridor in his undies came to clean his fuckin plate.
I gone outside but then I realized I CAN'T BE ALONE. There is always people everywhere. Why did we do this to ourselfs??? Everywhere I go I see people. Just doing their own thing.
I felt it many times and on a avrage day I can get over it. But GOD walls in my dorm suck my neighbours can hear me speak. Toilets? Communal with locks broken. Not in stalls but to a toilet itself. It is really lovely that someone walking past can hear me taking a dump. THEY ALL CAN HEAR ME. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. I can't go to the forest or something becouse I'm afraid of someone stabing me.
Back at my home I had space. I'm from countryside I had kilometers of wide open space... All for me. Sometimes farmers anoyed me becouse they existed and did their job. But outside of that I was alone no fuckin human in sight for miles. But here in collage they are everywhere there is not a spot where I can be sure some fella will not enter my sight.
This is a rant and god knows why I want strangers to read it. If you have advice give. It's not like something can be done.
Btw it's not like I don't have friends od i'm anti social. I like people but I hate the fact I can't choose when I can be alone.
Tldr; Guy can't get over constant presence of other humans while living in a city.