What happened to your sense of self?
I've been really considering detransition more than I'd like to admit and one common thing I've seen is people going back in the closet and convincing themselves they're happy to cope. I am scared right now that I am doing that. Being trans felt integral to me, my healing, and my authenticity for the longest time... Now after some harsh life events and reassessments about my identity and the way I relate to gender, sometimes it feels more like a burden I can let go of to feel lighter. My biggest fear is only feeling worse and more out of place than I felt before. I have become more soft and sensitive than I've ever been and I don't know if a journey back into being a guy will be smooth or fulfilling. I already know I don't really relate to cis people or manhood. I just can't let go of womanhood as I really felt that recognizing it in myself was apart of my journey. Did anybody find a deeper sense of self that detransitioned? I don't want to conform to cis hetereopatriarchy but I also am really struggling to find happiness in transition like I used to. What does transition mean to you now?