I’ll keep this one really short and sweet.
I have been on the fence about having kids for a while now. I (28F) turn 29 this year, but most of my uncertainty comes from being parentified as a child since mom relied on me to fill the emotional gaps in her marriage. What makes it worse is that my older sibling had a kid at a young age, and was financially unstable, so I started babysitting/ being a caregiver from 10 years old, while the baby permanently lived with my parents and I for two years. Even after my sibling got their finances somewhat under control The baby ( and their subsequent siblings) spent every weekend, break, and holiday with us, instead of their parents, up until my 22nd birthday. After my 22nd, my sibling got an amazing job offer and moved across the country with their children.
It’s been almost 7 years since then. I moved out of my parents house and met my fiancée, who has never pressed me into having children.
But I can’t help but wonder: do I actually want kids of my own? Or am I just so accustomed to having children around that not having them in my life now feels disorienting? Is this how childfree people have been living this whole time? With all of this quiet?
If anything is unclear, I can answer questions below! Looking forward to hearing people’s thoughts.