I don’t get it… why me?? Why any of us???!
I lost my daughter in November at 14+3 due PPROM.. today was her due date. I was already mourning that and to make matters worse I am 16+2 and started spotting this morning. I thought I was just being paranoid but I started feeling pressure similar to when I lost my daughter but not as much so I thought I was over thinking things but it continued so I ended up calling L&D and they said to come in for monitoring. Sure enough I’m 3 cm dilated . I’m heartbroken I know it’s not over yet and there’s a possibility they can do an emergency cerclage but I have to wait till the morning for the high risk doctor.. I DONT WANT TO WAIT what if things get worse and there’s nothing that can be done?? I don’t want to lose hope but part of me feels like I’ll be going down this road again and I’m heartbroken. My first son my sweet baby boy. I don’t get it I’ve had healthy pregnancies in the past why have these last two times been so different?! I’ve tried to be more careful not lifting heavy things, tried resting more and just taking it easy and yet here I am again. I want to be at home with my family mourning our lost daughter together not sitting in a hospital bed preparing myself to possibly have to mourn my son too. It took so much mentally to try again because I was afraid of going through this again not even for myself but for my sweet babies who were still thriving while my body failed them. I’m so heartbroken right now
Edit: I lost my sweet baby boy😭 I began having contractions and a ton of bleeding. This isn’t right 😭😭