Hey everyone,
I could really use some advice.
I (21F) have been with my boyfriend (21M) for a little over a year. We met on Hinge. The problem is, we live about an hour apart and I don’t have a car. He also works until 5 pm on weekdays, so we only really see each other on weekends. I usually take the train to him and he picks me up.
On Saturdays, things are actually nice. We spend the day together doing stuff like going to the zoo, playing tennis, or cooking. But in the evening, he always gets on his computer and plays games with his friends on Discord for hours. I used to struggle with that, but I’ve kind of accepted it since we at least spent the day together. I just playing Games on my iPad until we go to bed.
Sundays are what really bother me. After breakfast, he basically goes straight back to his computer and plays again. Sometimes alone, sometimes with friends. Last weekend he played from around 12 pm until 5 pm, and then told me I should go home because it was getting late and he has work the next day.
During the week, he doesn’t want to meet because he’s tired from work. He gets home at 5 pm and then spends most evenings (until around 11 pm) gaming with his friends because He is tired from work and it “helps him relax .” He does call me after work while driving home and we talk for about 30 minutes, but that’s it.
I really wish we had more time together. I’ve tried joining him and his friends on Discord, but I’m not interested in the games they play, and I don’t even have a proper computer to join them anyway. I’ve suggested games I could play too (like mobile games), but he loses interest after a few rounds. Since I can’t really be part of the conversation, I usually leave after an hour.
I’ve talked to him multiple times about how I feel. I told him I want more attention and that I feel unloved because we spend so little time together. His response is that I have too much free time and should find more hobbies, and that we just need to find a game to play together. But whenever I suggest something or try to play with him (like Overwatch or Minecraft on my laptop), he doesn’t feel like it.
At this point, I don’t know what to do anymore. I just feel really lonely, especially on Sundays when I’m lying next to him for hours while he’s gaming or in the evening "when i just can also join in the discord"
Any advice?