No contact but presents?
I need advice on if I’m overreacting. My brother and I have been no contact (my doing-nothing announced I’m just not reaching out) since December. In December my oldest daughter had her birthday. We did a play place and only invited my brother, sister in law, and nephew. Weeks before I offered to pick up my nephew and bring him to the play place, so they could have a break. My sister in law said they’d rather bring him, which alluded to them coming. Day of my daughter’s birthday, we’d been playing for an hour. They hadn’t shown up. I texted and asked if they were coming and my brother said “sorry can’t make it”. I responded with how disappointing it was and I was met with sarcastic comments of “sorry I’m not as great as you”, which led to more comments about me living at home (we sold our house and are living with my parents to save money and move), and he was bashing my career (I’m a teacher). I did not retaliate with hurtful comments. I was telling him how he was hurting feelings and he became defensive and rude. Fast forward a few months, my brother is on FaceTime with my parents. They just had their 2nd baby, my parents and my oldest was going to see him. My husband and I weren’t invited. My daughter mentioned washing her germs away before touching the baby and brother immediately said that she shouldn’t come-she wasn’t sick she just meant before touching the baby. I did yell, from the other room, that it didn’t make sense because my nephew met my youngest daughter when she was 3 days old. Seemed hypocritical to me. This led to my brother telling my mom they’re not comfortable with me around the baby because of my “explosions”. So I left it all alone. I’m not reaching out. I’m not trying. I can’t say anything to my brother about how he’s disrespectful or rude because it’ll lead into how he hurt my mom in the past and then she won’t be able to see her grandsons. If anyone says anything to call him out or even just explain that he may have hurt their feelings he becomes defensive and would cut off my parents. So I let it all go. Now, my youngest daughter’s first birthday is coming up and I didn’t invite my brother and his family. I felt I deserved an apology and never received one, so I’m not reaching out to invite them. Just today my dad, who works with my brother, brings home Easter baskets for our girls…from my brother and his wife. It’s incredibly frustrating and confusing. There has been no communication between any of us, no admittance of anything, but now they’re giving presents. It makes me upset-I let the girls have the baskets but I’m left with questions. Am I supposed to buy Easter baskets for my nephews now? Am I supposed to reach out and thank them?