u/Entire_Channel_4592

Hey ladies.

It was recommended to me to come over here after I had posted in the over 40 ivf group.

Im 46 in July. Married 14 years. Diagnosed with pcos. No children.

I have a disability called Cerebral Palsy. It doesn't affect my ability to care for myself and others. But when I mentioned it in the over 40 ivf group I was downvoted to oblivion and sent DMs and comments saying "Are you sure you should have a baby?" And things of that nature.

But im not on government assistance. I own my home. I take care of everything in my home by myself. All the housework. Everything.

I dont work because my hand eye coordination makes me slower to react when doing something like driving. I dont want to risk hurting myself or others so I stay home.

I think the issue people are having with me is my car broke down on Monday. (My husband drives it. Not me. Lol) and it threw a huge wrench into saving for ivf.

We had been paying down debts and saving and now we have to fix the car.

I had posted to get some emotional support and a few asked me for the link to my gofundme. I sent it before I knew it wasn't okay to post.

I removed it when I was made aware.

Im not posting to ask for anything.

Im just hurt and angry that my disability means somehow I can't be a good parent. Im angry that the car threw a massive wrench into my plans.

Im just tired.

Hey ladies.

So this morning I posted in the over 40 ivf sub. I'll be 46 in July and thought that sub would be more supportive to me.

I have PCOS and have never been pregnant. Last month my period was long and had mid cycle spotting.

This month my period started on time but its lighter than normal and very crampy.

I feel like this is menopause. While I know that I can't change it the fact that it may be the end of the line for me just has me sobbing.

My husband and I have been paying down debt like crazy and then on Monday on the way home the car broke down.

Im just tired. Mentally and emotionally.

I mentioned in the over 40 sub that I am disabled. Its not genetic and it doesn't keep me from taking care of myself and others. It just means I walk with a cane if I am somewhere with uneven ground.

I do not live on government assistance. No food stamps. No state health care. I own my home. Been with my husband 14 years this August.

I got knocked down and im struggling emotionally because of the car.

Posting in that sub got me downvoted into oblivion because I dared be disabled and want to be a mother. I recieved so many dms and comments about. "Are you sure you can keep up with a baby??'

Stuff like that.

Ive been on tears for hours. I feel so defeated.

Hey ladies.

So will be 46 this July.

Been married 14 years this August.

No children.

I have pcos but regular cycles.

Last month my period was very long and spotty. This month it's come on time but is so far very light.

I have a blood test with a new doctor on Saturday. She's thinking I need progesterone supplementation due to the pcos.

But this light (so far.) Period and last months long one tells me this might be menopause.

I know my age is absolutely the reason. But im emotionally not okay. Im just. Spiraling.

After coming back from the doctor on Monday the car broke down. We can't afford to fix it right now. We had been using all of our money to pay down debt to afford ivf. So the unexpected car breakdown threw us for a loop.

At this rate ill be 48 or more before I even get to try ivf.

Its just not going to happen for me and it makes me sad and angry at once.

Thanks for letting me vent. Xx

Edit to add. The plan is donor eggs due to age regardless of when/if we can try. I know the success with my own is slim so would rather go right in with donor eggs.

Hey ladies.

My previous post was removed because you aren't allowed to post GFM fundraisers here.

I didn't know. But I won't post them again. I just wanted to say thanks to all of you who commented. I would have done that on the previous thread but since its been deleted I can't.

After reading all of your comments my plan is to do what I can to get the $ to fix the car while also talking to CNY. There is a CNY in my state and they offer financial assistance. It doesn't fix the immediate problem im facing. But it gives me enough hope to not give up.

For those who so graciously offered kind comments I thank you all so much. My apologies to the mods as I wasn't aware of the rule of not posting things like GFM. I only posted when asked but I should have made sure it was okay to do so.

Hopefully I will have my own ivf success story to share soon. I just wanted to thank you all for giving me the support I needed to not give up.

Thank you.

Hey ladies.

So this may be long. I apologize in advance.

My husband and I have been together 14 years this August. We have no children.

I have PCOS and im turning 46 in July so I imagine Peri menopause is here as my last cycle was long and spotty.

We also have male factors for infertility that we discovered from 3 failed rounds of clomid years ago.

Anyway... My inlaws struggled for 8 years to have a child. They were beginning ivf (sis in law had her tubes checked and had lost 65 pounds)

They got pregnant on their own right after she had her tubes flushed.

Please believe i love my nephew and the neice they had about two years later.

So anyway they know about our struggles. And I mentioned to sis in law that we are paying down debt and saving as fast as we can for ivf.

She responded with... "Well....i dont think you should force it. Have to tried fasting? Have you both prayed?"

I completely respect their religious beliefs. But it made me so angry. She and her husband were fully on board when they needed help.

But somehow it's....forcing it. When I do.

Sigh.