Hi everyone,
I’m 22F and for a long time I’ve identified as bi. I’ve been in a relationship with a man for about 3 years, which makes all of this feel really confusing and honestly kind of overwhelming.
Over the past year, I’ve started questioning my sexuality in a deeper way than I ever have before. And there’s a thought that keeps coming back that I can’t ignore: what if I’m actually a lesbian?
I’ve been reflecting a lot on how I experience attraction, and that’s where things start to feel confusing. With women, it has always felt more natural, stronger, and more genuine. With men, I often feel unsure — like I’m questioning whether what I feel is real or just something I’ve learned to expect from myself.
A while ago, I talked to a friend about this and she mentioned compulsory heterosexuality (comphet), and ever since then I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. The more I think about it, the more things seem to make sense, but at the same time it also makes me feel really scared and uncertain.
I just feel really lost right now. I don’t know how to make sense of what I’m feeling or how to understand myself better. It’s also hard because I don’t even know how I would begin to process this while being in a long-term relationship with a man.
I think I’m just hoping to hear from people who’ve had similar experiences or gone through something like this. Even just knowing I’m not alone would mean a lot.
Thanks for reading 🤍