Starting my journey
I'm starting a no PMO journey with the goal of 90 days, if I succeed it will be the longest consecutive run ever. P has led me down a lot of bad roads, hours wasted, relationships ended, even infidelity.
I believe I've given myself PIED due to to the years of abuse and I struggle to get hard when I'm with my long term girlfriend. But there is a glimmer of hope still. When I lost a previous relationship due to P and infidelity (happened 1 time and I decided to end the relationship) I felt horrible about myself. I've watched some weird shit in the years and you definitely feel bad after the O, but I never saw myself as a cheater. After that I decided no more and held out for about 35 days.
After 35 days I had sex with someone I found online and sadly fell back into my old habits. But it also gives me hope now that if I can stay the course, I might rid myself of PIED and a win like that should give me the boost to add another 90 days, then another and so on...
I'm on day 15 so far, I think I'm in the period where I really gotta focus cause I get some crazy urges when I'm alone. Here's hoping I will get some reprieve in a week or two.